Old EA Message Board

The intention of this project is to dive headlong into a life "¦ to find out, on a personal, ongoing, aspect by aspect basis, exactly how the EA paradigm works in a real life.  We will look at Kelly's chart "¦ and follow her transits and progressions.  We will also look at major transits such as the Uranus/Pluto square, New Moons, Full Moons, Eclipses, and other celestial events.  Kelly will relate what specifically happens, as per her choice, and as time permits.

Participants will play "EA detective," ask specific questions and make pertinent observations.  The correlation of these personal happenings with the art of EA analysis should produce valuable if not spectacular results for those who join in.  Even for experienced EA practitioners, this can be a source of expanded, enhanced understanding.  Beginners should find it to be most helpful.






The comments, opinions, insights, and analyses posted by members of the School of Evolutionary Astrology be they students or practicing astrologers, are intended to serve those students who are engaged in learning Evolutionary Astrology. All content posted in the threads, "EA Personal In-depth Chart and Transit Analysis (Using the Charts of Real People)" is for Educational Purposes Only. The administrators and participants of the School of Evolutionary Astrology disclaim any liability in connection with the contents of these threads.


Please contact Linda or Cat by personal message if any volunteer wishes to remove any content from the project that is overly sensitive, too personal or harmful. Volunteers' real identities will remain confidential at all times before, during and after the project. Volunteers do not have to answer any questions that they do not wish to answer. Volunteers will be free to leave the project at any time.


Although we have many professional astrologers participating, the group as a whole will not be qualified to offer counseling to the volunteers as it is unsuitable in an on-line environment.

Chart attached below

Hello Kelly and everyone,


Here we go!


Let's begin with . . .


Primary evolutionary/karmic axis, "the bottom line"


The entire EA paradigm of natal Pluto, the location of the South Node of the Moon, the location of its own planetary ruler by house, sign, and aspects to other planets, Pluto's polarity point, the location of the North Node of the Moon by its own house and sign, and the location of its planetary ruler by its own house, sign, and aspects to it correlates to the primary evolutionary/karmic axis, the bottom line, for the Soul's ongoing evolution from life to life for any of us. It's like a foundation upon which a house is built. Relative to that foundation the REST of the entire birth chart is then properly understood relative to THAT CONTEXT. Everything else is referred to that context, that primary evolutionary/karmic axis. (Rad)


Kelly, if you could please read through the relevant chapters of Pluto - The Evolutionary Journey of the Soul - Vol. 1 by Jeffrey Wolf Green - and jot down the specific archetypes/dynamics that you have experienced throughout your life.  Which ones stand out more than others?  We'd like to learn exactly how your Pluto paradigm has manifested in this lifetime.


Everyone else is welcome to submit a short to medium-length Pluto paradigm of Kelly's chart.


Also, it's interesting to note our first impression of a chart.  What is that for you?


Thanks everyone!   :D

Linda

Set out below is the primary evolutionary/karmic axis which is the fundamental root of the chart.  The entire birth chart is properly understood relative to this foundation.  


Primary Evolutionary/Karmic Axis - for Kelly

-  Pluto Scorpio 9th  
-  South Node Pluto: Capricorn 12th
-  North Node Pluto: Cancer 6th
-  South Node Pluto Ruler:  Saturn Scorpio 10th
-  North Node Pluto Ruler:  Moon Taurus 4th
-  Pluto Polarity Point:  Taurus 3rd
-  Aspects from all of the above to other planets
-  Planetary Nodes can be examined for more information

   -  South Node Scorpio 9th
   -  North Node Taurus 3rd
   -  South Node Ruler:  Pluto Scorpio 9th
   -  North North Ruler:  Venus Libra 9th
   -  Aspects from all of the above to other planets
   -  Planetary Nodes can be examined for more information

         -  Then examine the rest of the chart


In EA analysis the house always comes first as the foundation for any given symbol, therefore Pluto in the 9th house is examined first.

Hi Linda and everyone, thanks so much for this great oppotunity. Here is my life experiences of pluto in 9th house. I don't have the pluto book right now (all my book was left at my parents home when i move to US), so i'll quote from EA-glossary.


Pluto in 9th house

I have the feeling of a special destiny all my life, want to understand the truths that explain the world and universe through metaphysical, philosophical, or religious principles. I need freedom to go after the experiences i need to discover the knowledge that explains these larger forces. (Especially jupiter squares nodes, for me, i always feel one day in the future i am going to understand part of the truth, understand teaching of great teachers such as Jesus/Yogananda/Jung..., and live a real spiritual life when i am older.)

My major in university was German literature, even i wasn't good at school i'm resonate with german philosophy, and i always love english literature, never been interested in my own tradition/culture. I started to feel alienated from my own society since 2007, become a loner and extremely detatched from my daily life environment since 2010 as transit pluto in my 12th house (started to learn EA more concentrated than learning anything before, record my dream and read lots of literature/spiritual books), and i do feel rootless and consider myself world citizen.

I moved to United States on 10th Oct. 2014, i still feel alienated here, but the stress/fear/sense of being trapped is much less, through this "breaking free" experience, i exhausted the obsessed desire of living in western coutry, and i feel i would have courage to live in my own country some day again, more peacefully. Through last year of studying EA, meditation (i have problem to practice regularly), first time i really feel i am my soul, really know that i am part of the source, i have past lives/trauma without the need to prove it, sometimes i can feel my consciousness, my soul is like water waves in my body, there is no limitation, i am connected to everything.

I don't have the urge to convert others of my belief, i am more of avoiding confrontation.

I do have problem expressing myself through rational language, i always hope the communication would be like in dream, mind to mind, there is no limitation, no misunderstanding, i can just show myself without explaining it. In my country, people from different city speak different local accent which is almost a different language, so i never resonate with the official language of my own country, i am more resonate with english but not good at it either. After learning EA, i would help my friends with their chart, and attract many other people who also want to know their truth, it always surprises me when people tell me that i am good with words...... and i am really empowered/secured by knowing that i have something to offer to others, i am valuable.

Reading/Dreaming has been the most important thing in my life in 2014 (very intense year), i am so empowered by reading literature (seems i only interested in literature written before i was borned)/spiritual books that i resonate with, those stories gave me courage to break free from restriction, of judgement, and to take my power back, live my life as i want. Also i want to share, i finally break free (Knocking on wood) from my repeating nightmares/sleep paralysis recently! On 24th Oct. 2014, i had a dream at my home in US, i was walking back to my old apartment, then the devil waited there, i recognised the devil and trying to stop him, he jumped on me trying to hurt me, then i just drawing cross in the air, and yell at him: We are not afraid of you! At the same time i know we are soul/energy in dream, he can't hurt me as form of energy, and i am not afraid of death of body, my soul was telling me his only weapon is making me fear, that's what feed him, and after i said i'm not afraid of him, the devil disappeared immediately, first time i woke up peacefully from nightmare. This dream just so powerful first time i feel victory in this kind of dream.

Sorry for the delaying of post, i am really excited for this oppotunity. I also have a question about the SN/NN of pluto, i read a post about SN of pluto, but still confused, i understand people living on planet now all share SN of pluto in capricorn, NN of pluto in cancer, but we can have it in different houses, for example, does the house placement correlate to how we individually experiences patriarchy trauma in our soul's past lives?  Say my pluto is in 9th house, i have been developing my intuition, trying to find my own truth through all kinds of religions/spiritual teaching, SN of pluto in 12th house capricorn can correlates to the experiences of compeletely disillusionment, powerlessness, lost meaning of life in past life religion experiences?

Hello Kelly,

Thanks so much for sharing a summary of your Pluto paradigm which I enjoyed reading very much.

Later we will explore the various signatures in your chart such as:

-  Pluto conjunct the South Node
-  planets conjunct the South Node
-  planets conjunct the North Node
-  Jupiter skipped steps.

We're off to a great start!

Thank you!

Linda




Question for Rad from Kelly:

I also have a question about the SN/NN of Pluto. I read a post about SN of Pluto, but still confused, I understand people living on planet now all share SN of Pluto in Capricorn, NN of Pluto in Cancer, but we can have it in different houses, for example, does the house placement correlate to how we individually experiences patriarchy trauma in our soul's past lives?  Say my Pluto is in 9th house, I have been developing my intuition, trying to find my own truth through all kinds of religions/spiritual teaching, SN of Pluto in 12th house Capricorn can correlate to the experiences of complete disillusionment, powerlessness, lost meaning of life in past life religion experiences?

Hi Kelly and Linda!

Kelly, Thank you for sharing your life with us.  Those who said you are good with words are correct.  

Like you, I have A 9th Pluto closely contacting lunar nodes.  So I understand the compulsion towards learning what is what...and why.  Who are we, where did we come from, What are we to believe...with so many opposing viewpoints out there?  Your experience with a dominating belief system like communism...then having been plunged into the free-wheeling 'American pie', seems right for a 9th Pluto.  The differences in belief systems must be dramatic, don't you think, in order to realize that all is connected thru opposites?  

You are young.  With your curiosity and soul's intention (Mars peeking into Pluto's 9th from the 8th), do you almost unconsciously sense the promise of Pluto's transformational 8th?  

Pluto's polarity point...yes, perfect!  You read and read.  You never tire of collecting information about your world.  Where would you most like to go (travel on truth's byways [Pluto in 9th, Jupiter in 1st])?  

In that search for truth, have you ever wondered, since your Pluto is conjunct SN, and since Jupiter naturally owns your Pluto's house...and is the missed step, whether you have already discovered the Truth in a former life...and now are applying it to your own circumstances (Jupiter in 1st).  Maybe as you said, finding a balance between ego and spirit (Mars in 8th in Libra)?  Uranus as astrology, is expanding your truth, then?  Do you feel an effect of SN of Neptune conjunct natal Jupiter?

Soryy about all the questions.  They are rhetorical in nature and don't require answers...only thought.

Best of luck, and have fun with the process.
chuck  

Hello Chuck and Kelly,


Saturn in Sagittarius transit


Great to hear from you Chuck, another 9th house Pluto!

Saturn is an important part of Kelly's evolutionary/karmic axis because it is in Scorpio along with Pluto (the Soul), Sun (current life purpose), Juno (committed relationships), South Node (past life habitual emotional patterns, past choices), and Mercury (intellectual system) - all in the 9th and 10th houses (which are themselves part of the Sag/Cap archetypes). Scorpio is also on the MC, a gateway to a new evolutionary cycle (new experiences).

Kelly has just had her 1st Saturn Return @ 28 deg Scorpio (the transition into adulthood), while you are well past your 2nd Saturn Return (I hope you don't mind me divulging that!).

Looking ahead, transiting Saturn in Sagittarius is currently moving through Kelly's 10th house and will soon enter her 11th house, overall for a 3 year transiting period.

Jupiter rules her 11th house (liberation from conditioning, groups, friendship). Transiting Saturn will conjunct her Uranus 11th which is in mutual reception with Jupiter Aquarius 1st.

Her Saturn is quintile Jupiter. The quintile is generally associated with Uranus in its expression of freedom, variety and experimentation, and indicates creative genius, insight and mental artistry.

Jupiter is septile Uranus. The septile is associated mainly with the planet Neptune, the capacity to receive inspiration, the search for ultimate meaning or wisdom.

Rather than predict anything, we will wait for Kelly to relay her experiences which we will then correlate to the transits in her chart.


Thank you both!

Linda

Hi Kelly,

Question for Rad from Kelly:

"I also have a question about the SN/NN of Pluto. I read a post about SN of Pluto, but still confused, I understand people living on planet now all share SN of Pluto in Capricorn, NN of Pluto in Cancer, but we can have it in different houses, for example, does the house placement correlate to how we individually experiences patriarchy trauma in our soul's past lives?  Say my Pluto is in 9th house, I have been developing my intuition, trying to find my own truth through all kinds of religions/spiritual teaching, SN of Pluto in 12th house Capricorn can correlate to the experiences of complete disillusionment, powerlessness, lost meaning of life in past life religion experiences?"

******

Yes, both the house placement of the S.Node of Pluto, and it's natal house placement of Pluto, with aspects to these from other planets, correlate to the trauma caused by the patriarchy. The natural planetary ruler of Capricorn, Saturn, is the ruler of the planetary ruler of the S.Node of Pluto. Thus, the natal placement of Saturn, and aspects to it, also correlate where such traumas can take place.

God Bless, Rad

Hi Chuck, thanks for your questions.

Growing up within communism belief system, i haven't been interested in politics, when i started to talk to people online from all over the world, that's the first time i faced so many opposing viewpoints, and forced to think about what i learnt may be so wrong, i started to search information in english, search the truth, these experiences opened up my mind, at the same time i feel angery of being restrained, lied, and betrayed by my country, thus detached and alienated from mainstraim.

QuoteWith your curiosity and soul's intention (Mars peeking into Pluto's 9th from the 8th), do you almost unconsciously sense the promise of Pluto's transformational 8th?

With mars in 8th house, i am always into dark side of the world, feel i need to dig into deep darkness, to understand why, to know the truth of the darkness, then i can find a way to heal my trauma, to defeat the dark side within myself, to find the light and always live my life with good intention/motivation. And yes, i unconsciously sense there is a future/light after 8th house's  "death"  experiences.

QuotePluto's polarity point...yes, perfect!  You read and read.  You never tire of collecting information about your world.  Where would you most like to go (travel on truth's byways [Pluto in 9th, Jupiter in 1st])? 

I think what i read reflect both of them: Pluto in 9th (very dark/deep/sad/traumatic stories, true experiences, philosophy), by knowing that's the part of human nature empowers me; Jupiter in 1st (stories about individualization/artist breaking free to search their meaning of life is always my favorite).

QuoteIn that search for truth, have you ever wondered, since your Pluto is conjunct SN, and since Jupiter naturally owns your Pluto's house...and is the missed step, whether you have already discovered the Truth in a former life...and now are applying it to your own circumstances (Jupiter in 1st). 

That's interesting, i always feel the book i read, i have read it before in my past lives, i am learning all these things again and again to build up the power and knowledge within, applying it to my own circumstances!

Hi Kelly,


New Moon 0 deg Aquarius


We have the New Moon coming up in a few days time on 20th January 2015 @ 8:13 am EDT.  You have shown interest in providing us details of events around New Moons and Full Moons.

Would you be interested in reporting any events or new projects (desires) correlating to the New Moon Aquarius?  If so, please go ahead and share at any time before, during or after the New Moon.

Attached is your natal chart + transits for 20th January 2015.  At 8:13 am EDT the Moon will be exactly conjunct the Sun @ 0 deg Aquarius in your 1st house.  

Mercury stations Rx @ 17 deg Aquarius, 10:54 am EDT, on 21st January2015.





Thank you,

Linda

New Moon Transit

Hi Linda, during this New moon in Aquarius, actually on 19th Jan, my headache was so intense that i can only lay on bed or in bathtab for most of the day, from my shoulder, neck up to back of my head suffer from so much tension, i can't relax even when i sleep, i really feel like to restart my brain......

I have headache problem for 2 years, this new moon reminds me that i can't ignore it anymore. I got a new firm mattress today, and luckily, a girl i met today who is a  medical student told me that i can use hair dryer to blow back of neck which works like moxa-moxibustion, gonna try it!

Saturn Transit Experience

I'd like to share saturn transit experiences as well. I started to learn EA when transit Saturn conjunct my natal mars in libra 8th house. During the years saturn transit through my 9th house, learning EA feels like the best education i have ever had, i was so worried i'd give up easily after passion at the beginning, as 9th house pluto soul, i need a stable belief system to feel secure, by learning EA to understand my own chart, and my friends' charts, i finally just know it's true without doubt, prove or supported by others. When transit Saturn conjunct my MC, i had first chance to write astrology column for a local newspaper also write astrology article about celebrities for the local news website i worked for (i was suprised that i can to do it in my way, not so entertainment astrology), and tried to do astrology reading for people online. I had Saturn return in december 2014, moved to USA in October, i feel very insecure and stressed if i don't have any income at all, so i started to do astrology reading online again, there is still so much resistance, i think i am not good enough, sometimes i feel i can't really help poeple, afraid that i don't really understand the deep truth of their chart and what i am saying becomes dogma, cook book knowledge, then i lost the meaning of doing it.....there are so much self doubt, also i'm overwhelmed by communicating to so many people, their projected needs, and the responsibility of working for myself, i just want to retreat and stop sometimes, hope that i am not existed so i don't need to face the stress, i always fear to do what i love as a job, i am scared that i'll lose my passion, sometimes i just want to do repeat meaningless work and enjoy my studying as a hobby to avoid stress.

Quote from: Rad on Jan 15, 2015, 07:11 AM
Hi Kelly,

Question for Rad from Kelly:

"I also have a question about the SN/NN of Pluto. I read a post about SN of Pluto, but still confused, I understand people living on planet now all share SN of Pluto in Capricorn, NN of Pluto in Cancer, but we can have it in different houses, for example, does the house placement correlate to how we individually experiences patriarchy trauma in our soul's past lives?  Say my Pluto is in 9th house, I have been developing my intuition, trying to find my own truth through all kinds of religions/spiritual teaching, SN of Pluto in 12th house Capricorn can correlate to the experiences of complete disillusionment, powerlessness, lost meaning of life in past life religion experiences?"

******

Yes, both the house placement of the S.Node of Pluto, and it's natal house placement of Pluto, with aspects to these from other planets, correlate to the trauma caused by the patriarchy. The natural planetary ruler of Capricorn, Saturn, is the ruler of the planetary ruler of the S.Node of Pluto. Thus, the natal placement of Saturn, and aspects to it, also correlate where such traumas can take place.

God Bless, Rad

Thank you Rad!

Quote from: Kelly on Jan 21, 2015, 07:36 PM

New Moon Transit

Hi Linda, during this New moon in Aquarius, actually on 19th Jan, my headache was so intense that i can only lay on bed or in bathtab for most of the day, from my shoulder, neck up to back of my head suffer from so much tension, i can't relax even when i sleep, i really feel like to restart my brain......

Hi Kelly,


The New Moon Aquarius on 19th January 2015 took place in your 1st house.  The head and therefore headaches correlate to Saturn and Mars.  The New Moon created a temporary skipped step with your Lunar Nodes in Scorpio/Taurus in effect for a month.  The resolution node is South Node Scorpio 9th.

Perhaps the deeper reasons for your headaches will become apparent some time during the month.  The specific correlation for the Aquarius/1st archetype is a disruption to the nervous system affecting mental alertness, concentration and memory.  With your shocking headaches, the ability to think clearly and coherently may have been disrupted.

Quote

Saturn Transit Experience

I had Saturn return in December 2014, moved to USA in October, i feel very insecure and stressed if i don't have any income at all, so i started to do astrology reading online again. There is still so much resistance, i think i am not good enough, sometimes i feel i can't really help people, afraid that i don't really understand the deep truth of their chart and what i am saying becomes dogma, cook book knowledge, then i lost the meaning of doing it.....there are so much self doubt, also i'm overwhelmed by communicating to so many people, their projected needs, and the responsibility of working for myself, i just want to retreat and stop sometimes . . .

I'm sure many astrologers can relate to your feelings.  Some suggestions:

-  read some books or take some courses on counseling techniques

-  don't get into a savior complex when doing readings

-  the wisdom that you offer may or may not change the client's life


Here are some extracts from earlier discussions on the message board:


Different approaches to client readings

For the astrologer who is learning their work, who does not have a lot of water under the bridge, so to speak, it then comes down to how the astrologer presents them self to the person. And that means acknowledging to the person that they are in the process of learning, and thus they are not an "˜authority' wherein everything they see or say is the gospel truth. In the beginning it is necessary to use words like, "˜this signature suggests this or that: do you find or feel that is true?' This way then encourages a dialogue between the astrologer and the person where the dialogues themselves present an ongoing vehicle in which the astrologer is continuing to observe and correlate. Thus the astrologer is continuing to learn. This process will naturally deepen not only the astrologer's capacity through the knowledge gained, but their own intuition as well. JWG shared many times that in the beginning of his work that he worked for "˜free' for over five years. And wherever he lived in the world he would put out signs that said, in essence, "˜free readings.' And he did so on purpose for the reasons above. In this way there will always come a time in which the would-be astrologer would then feel "˜ready' to do their work on a more professional basis. And, in this way, they will have learned a great deal that will not only prepare them for the work, but also learn how NOT TO HARM PEOPLE. (Rad)

What I do is take quite a lot of time working with each chart I am to read based on the questions the Soul has asked. I ask them beforehand what their concerns are. Sometimes this is not easy because of the expectation of many Souls to be passive in the face of astrology, which many times is a projection of their desire not to be responsible for the situation. I always check through questions how the clients feel about what I tell them. And I check how they feel at the end of the session, and many times I also write to them or call them some time after the session to know how they have felt, and if they need any clarification or have any further questions. If you are there for the right reasons, then God is with you, helping you in your work. It is necessary to have faith. Another point I think helps me to avoid causing harm is that I normally want people to feel good about the reading. I want them to feel encouraged, and supported. So normally I will not tell them anything that will make them feel bad, unless it is necessary and they have asked the relevant question. In such case I will be even more careful with what I say. (Gonzalo)

Summarising all these descriptions of learnings given by everyone so far - for anyone just starting to give readings I'd recommend the rule of thumb that's emerged here: "Don't give any more than what the client asks for, and even then tread carefully." Make sure they are actually ready to hear what they have asked for, that they are presently capable of taking responsibility for their actions and thus this decision. But if you are sure they are, then it is their responsibility, and you can safely tell them whatever it is that they have asked. That said, it does take experience to really know all this in a reliable way, so be initially conservative in your assessments (for as long as it takes) until you have found your own way that you can rely upon. It's over time that this feeling for what your own way is/will be arises. Everyone comes to their way in their own timeframe, via their own pathway - astrology is Uranian after all. (Upasika)

As a client and a practitioner of therapy, bodywork, astrology, etc., helping professions are just that, we are here to assist others in their process, sometimes slowly, sometimes quickly. When I have had readings or sessions with healers, astrologers, etc. who want me to move faster than I am ready, or forcefully provide information, it just doesn't help. That said, I am open to honest and sometimes painful assessments that I need to hear to move on, or take responsibility for my Soul, my life. Clients usually call based on referral from my website or friend. In the initial conversation I give an overview of my work, including its comprehensive and evolutionary perspectives. This has certainly turned numerous prospective clients away, but it also provides a sorting that proves beneficial to both myself and prospective clients. My own evolutionary signature and body-mind is geared to help others go deep and to evolve with compassion. Those who are not ready for progressive and evolutionary themes, whether they be consensus or further along, usually go elsewhere within a short period of time when I stay true to my offerings and Soul work. It's called a practice for good reason, we are practicing and thus learning. Mistakes are inevitable, and some seem more painful than others. And I'm very grateful for the mature practitioners who have taught me and personally helped me know myself and my Soul better. They are the ones I have gleaned the most help and support from. (Wendy)


Thanks,

Linda

Thanks for your insight Linda!

QuoteThe New Moon created a temporary skipped step with your Lunar Nodes in Scorpio/Taurus in effect for a month.  The resolution node is South Node Scorpio 9th.

That's why i am flip flopping again, the pressure comes from the need to study deeply like you suggested to take courses, read books, it has been always good time to study when mercury go retrograde, easier for me to focus and attract all kinds of information i need, i wonder if it's because mercury is regrograde in my progression chart, i feel more like a mercury retrograde person? If you are there for the right reasons, then

QuoteIf you are there for the right reasons, then God is with you, helping you in your work. It is necessary to have faith.

I really resonate with this!
Do you recommand any books on counseling techniques? Appreciated for all your help!

Quote from: Kelly on Jan 24, 2015, 11:50 AM

. . . it has been always good time to study when mercury go retrograde, easier for me to focus and attract all kinds of information i need, i wonder if it's because mercury is retrograde in my progression chart, i feel more like a mercury retrograde person?

Hello Kelly,

Thanks for your feedback.

In answer to your above question:  yes, you are feeling the retrograde archetype because not only is your Progressed Mercury now Retrograde, but transiting Mercury is Retrograde too.

Let's examine your Mercury archetype!   :D

-  Your North Node Taurus is in the 3rd house.

-  Your Pluto Polarity Point Taurus is in the 3rd house.

-  Due to the Jupiter skipped steps, you have done your 3rd house before, but it is not fully developed.

-  Uranus is currently transiting your 3rd house and will do so for many years.

-  The South Node of Chiron Aries is in the 3rd house.

-  Your Chiron Gemini 5th is Retrograde (meaning a re-do situation in order to heal the wound of self-expression via communication).

-  The North Nodes of Mars and Uranus in Gemini are conjunct Chiron Rx in the 5th house, a desire to express your individuation, create a "new" you, and bring healing to your communications.

-  You have just one planet that is retrograde in the chart:  Chiron Gemini 5th Rx.

-  Your Mercury makes only one major aspect to another planet - a conjunction to Saturn.  Mercury is not an "unaspected planet" (operating in a Uranian-like way) because Saturn is "conditioning" it.

-  Ruler of your Mercury is Pluto Scorpio 9th. 

-  Sedna conjunct North Node in the 3rd house means that communication has been "frozen" for a long time (perhaps being mute in a past life).

-  The 3rd house is ruled by Mars Libra 8th - you desire to share, compare and communicate your thoughts and ideas with others who symbolize the knowledge that you seek.  In the past you have felt the powerlessness associated with the 8th house and so have desired to merge with others who are more powerful in order to evolve your intellectual structures.  These can be knowledgeable people, a philosophy, or a body of work, eg EA.

-  Transiting Mercury is currently at 16 deg Aquarius Rx transiting your 1st house:  a new evolutionary cycle bringing new experiences on the heels of revisiting/revising/re-doing, de-conditioning and individuating your natal Mercury via this retrograde cycle.

-  Current Mercury Retrograde 21 Jan to 11 Feb @ 17 Aqu 05 to 1 Aqu 18 – communication issues, reflection on the past, taking an objective stance, dispassionate observation, detachment, de-conditioning, liberation, shock, trauma, questionings, false assumptions, taking shortcuts, re-checking important details, re-evaluations, processing, past-life memories, repeating messages, insights.

-  Transiting Mercury in its current retrograde cycle will conjunct your natal Jupiter in the 1st house.  Jupiter is your skipped step planet!  You will have another opportunity to "resolve" this skipped step - something was skipped, missed, or not understood in the past - by consistently focusing upon the South Node Scorpio 9th (conjunct the MC).  We have all fallen away from Natural Laws due to the distortions of the Patriarchy.  You are recovering your Jupiter skipped step by sharing, merging and osmosing yourself deeply with people whom you are attracted to in an instinctual way, and aligning your Soul with a philosophical system that is based on Natural Laws. 

-  It's very interesting to note that every single Planetary Node in the Northern Hemisphere (bottom) of the chart is Retrograde, including Chiron and Sedna, emphasizing an introverted nature where you feel very different within yourself. 

Hemispheres of the Chart
Eastern (left):  Focus on self.
Western (right):  Focus on others.
Northern (bottom):  Impact of family.
Southern (top):  Influence of outer conditions.

Natally, your Southern Hemisphere being more emphasized than the others correlates to society, the father, authority figures, career and your contribution to society.  Perhaps you felt burdened at an early age to grow up quickly, with the weight of the world on your shoulders.

Although you were born with Mercury Direct, your Progressed Mercury Jupiter 10th (conjunct the MC) is now Retrograde. 



-  It's interesting to note that three bodies are Retrograde in your Progressed chart:

   (1)  Mercury Sagittarius 10th Rx.       (2)  Chiron Gemini 4th Rx.      (3)  Pallas Cancer 5th Rx.

-  The kite pattern, coming from Gemini on the IC, is pointing to Uranus, a very dynamic outlet for the energies of the chart.  The Progressed chart provides opportunities for Uranian individuation and Mercurial self-expression on the MC.

-  The yod with Moon at the apex (and Neptune/Natural Lilith and Pluto) correlates to crisis with a need for adjustment (pointing to Natural Laws).


Retrograde archetype, and progressions

Retrograde is always the R words – redo, renew, review. A person could be born before Mars turns retrograde and it would be direct in natal and go retrograde by progression during their life. Or they could be born with Mars retrograde and Mars goes direct by progression during their life. Or they could be born with Mars retrograde by progression for the entire life. These are going to be distinct conditions for that Soul. Some of it undoubtedly relates to where that Soul was prior to the present life. (Steve)


Retrograde planet at birth, by progression or transit

The intent of the retrograde as an archetype is to re-live, re-do, repeat. And the intention within that, the reason for that, is to INDIVIDUATE. Any retrograde planet either by birth, or going retrograde in the context of a lifetime, is not only to repeat, re-live, and re-do, which can have many reasons, but one of the core reasons is to individuate. It accelerates the evolutionary process of individuation. Thus the Soul desires to withdraw from ANY external circumstance or condition that is attempting to define, through expectations, how the archetype of the planet that is retrograde, at birth, progression, or transit, how that archetype (planet) is 'meant' to be actualized or lived out. And that is because the Soul is desiring to individuate its function which, in turn, allows for an acceleration of the Soul's development because of the effort to individuate. In its own way it ignites a deep feeling in the Soul that says, 'not this, not that, so what is it?' (Rad)

Quote
Do you recommend any books on counseling techniques?

I will open up your question regarding astrological counseling techniques to my EA colleagues and others reading this thread.


Thank you!

Linda

Hello Kelly,


Astrological Counseling Techniques


Here are some resources:


(1)  Webinars by EA Astrologer, Mark Jones:  "The Presenting Issue"

The first of a 3-part webinar series based on his forthcoming book:  "The Soul Speaks:  The Therapeutic Potential of Astrology".

I attended this excellent webinar ... and recommend participating in the whole series (online webinar format).

https://www.astrologyuniversity.com/audio/browse-by-astrologer#


(2)  The Consulting Astrologer's Guidebook by Donna Cunningham

Chapters include:
-  Conducting effective chart readings
-  Counseling clients in crisis
-  Building your astrological practice


(3)   A suggestion received from a fellow astrologer:  to connect with other types of therapists so that you can refer people whom you feel might be in need of some form of therapy.


I will add to the list as more suggestions come to hand.


Thanks,

Linda  

Hello Kelly,


Any questions?


Skywalker and I thought that this would be a good time to answer some of your questions.


You can ask about:

-  any specific questions you may have regarding your natal chart

-  specific dynamics you have lived and need to make sense of

-  the need to understand the "why" of anything that one can try and see via EA

-  the current moment (transits)

Any questions that we cannot answer we will defer to other EA members and/or Rad.


Thank you,

Linda

Hi Linda, thanks so much for clarifying mercury archetype in my chart! I'll share more feedback on weekends.

Quote from: Linda on Jan 28, 2015, 04:34 PM
Hello Kelly,


Any questions?


Skywalker and I thought that this would be a good time to answer some of your questions.


You can ask about:

-  any specific questions you may have regarding your natal chart

-  specific dynamics you have lived and need to make sense of

-  the need to understand the "why" of anything that one can try and see via EA

-  the current moment (transits)

Any questions that we cannot answer we will defer to other EA members and/or Rad.


Thank you,

Linda

Questions:

I have very low energy, easily exhausted, need at least 8-10 hours sleep everyday, a little bit stress can cause insomnia. I have deep fear of endlessness, of eternity, even i have good times in my life, i am always threatened by the next bad/sad period, i experiences chronic desperation that even when i am happy i still hope i don't exsit, and knowing death is not the end, so i have to live, because i don't want to start over again... I think these feelings correlates to my skipped steps and neptune in 12th capricorn, i'd love to learn what's your deep insight about this, i want to truely feel the eager for life, to be grateful of life, and intuitively feel i will understand this in the future, just don't know how to get there. Also recent years i have been even more introverted, hide from people, from society, when i am surrounded by poeple, i can feel their energy andpressure, when i am in public places, i always hide in corner, i don't know where to stand, what to say, feel i don't belong anywhere, don't feel comfortable in my body, my physical body doesn't have a position in this world, only at home i can relax, and every night sleeping is my haven, i look forward to bedtime every day.....

The other questions is relationship with my family, my parents. I'm tortured by the thought of i'm very cold and indifference, i love my mom but i haven't been patient enough or doing enough for her, and i can't feel from my heart that i love my dad, i feel so guilty about this also very lonely deep in my heart.

Thanks so much for this incredible thread and learning experiences!

Hello Kelly,


Questions from Kelly


Thanks for your amazing questions coming straight from the Soul!

I'll be looking to answering some of them soon.  

I'd like to invite others who are reading to join in and help in answering your questions in earnest.


Thanks,

Linda

QuoteIn answer to your above question:  yes, you are feeling the retrograde archetype because not only is your Progressed Mercury now Retrograde, but transiting Mercury is Retrograde too.

My mind was very conditioned until i was in my 20s, especially when i realised most of the education in my country has been lies, i became very rebel against goverment, politicians, mainstream, i love to searching information, but get angery when being forced to receive data/information that i'm not interested in, i felt so exhausted/split when i was working in news network, for a long time, i can't stand tv/radio at all....

That's why i feel like a Mecury retrograde person, so i wonder if that's because that Mecury has been retrograde in my progression chart for a long time.

QuoteYour Mercury makes only one major aspect to another planet - a conjunction to Saturn.  Mercury is not an "unaspected planet" (operating in a Uranian-like way) because Saturn is "conditioning" it.

Mercury in scorpio conjunct saturn, i remember when i was in elementery school, i was chosen to reciting propaganda article at school, and host school party at traditional holiday, i was always doing my best, until at age of 10 or 11, every important holiday, i'll have sore throat, lost my voice compeletely, and i stopped performance or talk in front of people after that. Also as long as i can remember, i have been taught by parents, teachers think before talking, there would be intense humiliation if i say something stupid, later when i went to colleage, work, i realised so many people can talk "stupid" things without thinking, feeling bad, or any consequences, that really makes me angry.

QuoteSedna conjunct North Node in the 3rd house means that communication has been "frozen" for a long time (perhaps being mute in a past life).

I definitely resonate with this, when i tried to express myself in childhood, always being suppressed, when i tried to explaining myself only caused more misunderstanding, and being punished, beaten by my parents mostly for talking back. I became really quiet with strangers, and sometimes i'd be so nervous and uncomfortable, have sore throat lose my voice or a little stammer when i'm forced to talk. Sometimes real life feels like sleep paralysis, being suppressed by invisible energy, trying so hard to make a sound!

QuoteThe 3rd house is ruled by Mars Libra 8th - you desire to share, compare and communicate your thoughts and ideas with others who symbolize the knowledge that you seek.  In the past you have felt the powerlessness associated with the 8th house and so have desired to merge with others who are more powerful in order to evolve your intellectual structures.  These can be knowledgeable people, a philosophy, or a body of work, eg EA

That's so true, reading/learning/communication with people who symbolize the knowledge that i need, empowers me a lot.

QuoteIt's very interesting to note that every single Planetary Node in the Northern Hemisphere (bottom) of the chart is Retrograde, including Chiron and Sedna, emphasizing an introverted nature where you feel very different within yourself. 

Wow, it is really intersting, i have been trying tonaturally show people that i am different, i am easily awkward, i don't fit in without hiding it or judging myself, also when people point this out i tried to not take it as judgement, just think oh yea, they get me :)

Hi Kelly,


Let's work through your chart together.  Today I'll address your first question.

Quote from: Kelly on Jan 30, 2015, 06:17 PM
Questions:
I have very low energy, easily exhausted, need at least 8-10 hours sleep everyday, a little bit stress can cause insomnia.  I have deep fear of endlessness, of eternity, even i have good times in my life, i am always threatened by the next bad/sad period, i experiences chronic desperation that even when i am happy i still hope i don't exist, and knowing death is not the end, so i have to live, because i don't want to start over again... I think these feelings correlates to my skipped steps and Neptune in 12th Capricorn, I'd love to learn what's your deep insight about this, i want to truly feel the eager for life, to be grateful of life, and intuitively feel i will understand this in the future, just don't know how to get there.  

Mars square Neptune


For low energy and exhaustion I would consider your Mars Libra 8th and its square to Neptune Capricorn 12th.


Mars 1 deg Libra 8th

-  Paradoxical pattern.  JWG quote:  "The first thing to do is to understand why this paradoxical pattern has been determined by the Soul in the first place. In general when the chart is opposite, ie Libra ascendant, resulting house cusps all being in opposition to their natural placements [for you, Kelly, we are talking about Mars being in the sign Libra that is naturally opposite Aries], the individual must learn how to integrate and synthesize the oppositional nature of their own inner conflicts, ie Libra Ascendant has a primary desire to complete itself in relationship yet at the same time just as strong a desire for almost total freedom and independence. So the question becomes why is this from an evolutionary point of view? All too often such a signature means that in prior times, the most recent prior lives, the person had been fitting themselves into other people's reality, to live through them or others, to always give without a lot of receiving, to be so highly attuned to other people's needs that they lost sight of their own. So when that has been the case the meaning of the paradoxical symbols this time correlates to learning how to let others FIT THEIR REALITY versus the other way around."

-  Adrenaline, physiological correlation for Mars, is the 'fight or flight' hormone produced in response to stress (whether it's physical, emotional, or psychological). Adrenal fatigue is not relieved by sleep, and brings a general sense of unwellness, tiredness or 'grey' feelings.

-  Mars square Neptune, 8th/12th houses, affecting your sleep patterns.  
  Passive/aggressive, instincts/imagination, chasing dreams, obsessive impulses, dreamlike state,
  addiction to sexuality, desire for spiritualization, instinctive desires leading to disillusionment, confusion,
  exhaustion, last quarter square is a need to surrender into the Universal.
   

Neptune 1 deg Capricorn 12th

-  Physiological Correlation to Neptune:  Melatonin.
  Neptune also correlates with the phenomena of consciousness, the consciousness of the Soul.
  It correlates with sleep/being awake, dreams, visions, and hallucinations that occur within consciousness.
 
The Mars square Neptune aspect could describe your terrifying nightmares of being pursued by a violent force releasing long held or crystallized elements (Capricorn) of the unconscious (fear, terror, death) which could certainly lead to disturbed sleep patterns. South Node of Mars is sextile the South Nodes of Saturn and Pluto in the 12th house, releasing the Soul from the past patriarchal distorted reality. Evolution by way of the North Node of Mars Gemini 5th (conj Chiron and NN Uranus, mental wound/trauma) exactly inconjunct South Node of Mars 10th and exactly sextile the North Node of Neptune in Leo has led to crisis but also healing through sharing fun, joy, and creativity with others, thus rejuvenating the worn-out aspects of the Soul (suppression, distortion, 10th).

I found the following in JWG's "Medical Astrology" book, and it seems to resonate with your feelings:

(Q):  I'm a little confused because you also mentioned that melatonin acts to dissolve the boundaries separating the subjective egocentric consciousness from Soul consciousness. In essence, melatonin acts as a spiritualizing process. How does melatonin connect with depression and act as a spiritualizing agent at the same time?

(A):  When one consciously begins the journey to truly spiritualize, melatonin is increased within the brain/consciousness in order to dissolve the apparent boundary between the current ego and the Soul. As this occurs, the Soul then becomes increasingly aware, consciously, of the Source of All Things: actual inner 'cosmic' consciousness in varying degrees of realization - the Ultimate, the Absolute. As a result of this, when the consciousness is then 'snapped' back to 'normal' reality - life on earth with all that that means and implies - the contrast that one's consciousness is then presented with causes, for many, a transiting state of depression. This depression is caused by the inner knowledge that one must complete whatever the current life is about - the gravity of time and space, mortality, the baggage of the 'body,' the baggage of the totality of what the life is about.


Kelly, you said:  I think these feelings correlate to my skipped steps.  

I agree because your 12th house is ruled by Jupiter, your skipped step planet.  Interestingly, the South Node of Neptune is conjunct your Jupiter Aquarius 1st reflecting the original matriarchal roots of the current desires in all Souls to spiritualize consciousness.  The quickest way to accelerate your evolution (Jupiter in Aquarius), and express your true individuality on an instinctual level in accordance with what is natural (Natural Laws), is to focus upon the South Node in Scorpio 9th by "penetrating" into the nature of your beliefs - Are your beliefs rooted in Natural Law or man-made concoctions? - and osmose powerful knowledge based on Natural Laws.


Anything in the birth chart is properly understood within the context of the primary evolutionary/karmic axis, a major aspect being:


Pluto conjunct South Node

We must remember the three evolutionary/karmic possibilities with Pluto conjunct the South Node:

(1) the Soul is in a condition of totally re-living prior life dynamics in this life because of an absolute resistance, prior choices, to acting upon the evolutionary intentions and necessities prior to the current life,

(2) is a situation wherein the Soul has totally actualized those prior intentions in such a way as to develop unique abilities and capacities that are being brought forwards into the current life in order to benefit others because of those abilities and capacities,

(3) is a common condition in which elements of both the first two conditions exist.

With a planet conjunct the South Node there is a requirement to disseminate or share a resource in some way with others. The reason for such a requirement will be different in each case. Souls with this Pluto conjunct South Node signature, requirement, have some special capacity or resource to share with others that will have a metamorphic effect once shared, whatever it may be. They are blocked from their North Node until the second Saturn Return specifically because they have chosen to assist others in some way. It's a requirement. Metamorphosis that enacts evolution before the second Saturn Return occurs through fulfilling the requirement itself. Beyond that, there will of course be other areas in the individual's life that will be evolving and metamorphosing. Pluto will be making aspects to other planets for example. There will of course be a sign on the 8th house cusp, and the location of its planetary ruler, that will be needing to be evolved. So too if there are planets in the natal 8th house and/or planets in Scorpio itself. The desire nature of the natal Pluto by house and sign expresses itself as relatively pure without awareness of its polarity point because there have been polarity points in other lives that have all lead to this karmic requirement of the Soul. This is why whatever the resource or capacity is that the Soul is required to give, to share, has reached this state of purity before the current life. (Rad)


This brings us back to your 8th house Mars in Libra, your 8th house cusp ruled by Sun Scorpio 9th (ruled by Pluto), and Sun-Juno-Pluto (purpose-commitment-Soul) all in Scorpio.  What is the unique ability and capacity you are sharing with others?  It must be EA!   ;D


I will continue with your questions tomorrow.


Thanks,

Linda

Hi Kelly,

Thank you for sharing all that you have about yourself.

What I am getting from what you wrote and the symbols in your chart is a fear of entrapment and powerlessness because of past life traumas and potentially also traumas in this life when you simply relax and allow yourself to be trusting and happy. With a very strong Scorpio signature there can be many subconscious fears of haviing the rug pulled from beneath your own two feet. The security needs of a Soul with Pluto on the South Node can be very deep because of intensely deep betrayals of trust and because of many repeated situations of powerlessness, injustice, abuse and so on. There can be fear and anxiety that doesn´t allow you to really relax and feel safe because of these traumatic experiences and the fear of repeating similar experiences.

With Pluto in the 9th House we can also determine that many of these experiences may have been connected to your own search for truth and understanding of the world around you in cosmological terms and have possibly been persecuted for your beliefs and that in this life you are attempting to close this cycle within your Soul journey and to understand once and for all what it, life, all means to you, in your own way. It seems that EA can be a good way for you to probe into the deeper meanings of life and existence and with the Sun conjunct Pluto and the South Node it seems that this will be a primary focus in this life but you will need proof and direct experience, Scorpio, of whatever you discover. Meditation and Yoga or Chi Kung can help strengthen the nervous system and allow you to go inside yourself and have direct experience of what you are searching for.

The isolation you feel from your surroundings and environment can stem from various reasons, such as a highly sensitive and defensive nature with all that Scorpio plus the Moon in the Fourth House and Neptune in the Twelfth House which adds huge emphasis on being a sensitive Soul that picks up vibrations from others and the environment. We are living in a patriarchal reality which is counter life itself and sensitive people pick this up and have to deal with it in a way that brings some peace.  With a Capricorn Ascendent, Mercury conjunct Saturn and the South Nodes of the Moon, Mercury, Venus, Mars all in Scorpio in the Ninth and primarily Tenth House, can also correlate with very harsh past life judgements of pretty intense proportions, that you bring energetically into the current life. Neptune in the Twelfth House in Capricorn, can indicate a need to dissolve and heal from all the past judgements, isolation and possibly even imprisonment. Remember that it is also self judgement and potentially guilt from past lives of judging others that also needs to be dissolved and healed.

The fear of endlessness to me sounds like a fear of loss of control. There may of been situations of intense powerlessness in previous lives for sustained periods of time, with no hope and therefore a fear of losing yourself into the "abyss" of emotional endless suffering. This may of happened in another life or lives in which you may of been imporisoned or totally lost within yourself or in the outer world and with no end in sight, no boundary to limit the loss of control, nothing to hold on to.   

Relative to physical energy"¦ I would look at Mars which is square Neptune in Capricorn in the Twelfth House which to me, according to what you said, indicates that the way you interface with your environment depletes your energy as you are basically at odds with the environmental vibe and people in general. You are not relaxed and can always be a little insecure and ready for some potential threat to your security. The constant interfacing with a reality that is hostile and barren or dry, void of love and nurturing seems to create a sense of depression when you interface with it and then simply feel like giving up. With Mars square Neptune things can seem worse than they are thou. Another thing that can cause you to feel depressed and out of place is the fact that you may feel uneasy and disconnected from highly populated and city like areas. Your heavy Ninth House and sensitive nature could feel less vulnerable in more natural environments where you can simply be yourself without any fear of judgements or any potential threat and learn to relax. Also with Mars and Venus in Libra you may spend more energy trying to please others than really focusing on your own needs.

With  the Moon in Taurus in the Fourth House and the North Node conjunct but in the -Third house on the PPP you also seem to be moving towards your own evolution simply by doing this thread and speaking about your experiences in order to find emotional peace and stability, Taurus. There is much emphasis on your inner emotional self being grounded and stable and safe. To find a sense of satisfaction simply by being yourself in the world, feeling and nurturing the emotional and physical bodies, learning to relate to yourself and feel good with yourself in your own skin is important.

About the love you feel or don´t feel for family members. Love is FREE so take care of yourself, your inner emotional being, as shown by the Taurus PPP, North Node and Moon and the rest will flow. Reflect on the relationship to yourself which then will condition the way you relate to others. It´s ok to simply be who we are, we can heal and we can improve our relationships with others yet we will not be able to get along in total peace and harmony with all people, it´s simply the way things are and that is o.k.

With Mercury conjunct Saturn in the Tenth House and a Capricorn Ascendent, you may also have a depressive mental attitude which is self defeating and hard on yourself. Add Mars square Neptune in Capricorn and you have a loss of energy, loss of motivation and might tend to make situations worse than they actually are whenever things don´t go as desired. The Sun in Scorpio with Pluto will correlate with a Soul that in the current life will go thru many deep inner psychological deaths and rebirths as you evolve. Letting go of guilt is paramount and with Mercury/Saturn you may also need to define exactly what is yours and what is social conditioning or un-natural guilt and simply allow yourself to be free from what is not yours and to do the best with whatever natural guilt is actually yours. Remember we all share natural guilt as it is a way for us to know what is inherently right and wrong and we have all made mistakes in our Soul journeys. Self forgiveness is so important for everyone and with Chiron/Neptune in Pisces at the moment we are all learning these lessons in our own ways and lives.

Again I think the key would be to lighten up the emotional body, feel good with yourself,  nurture yourself, talk about what you feel and open up to people you can trust which will allow for emotional release, even by crying if necessary.

Venus is in the Ninth House in that beautiful grand trine to Jupiter and Chiron so there can be a key as to how to open up emotionally. Beauty, grace, art, learning, relating to partners and friends, speaking to like minded people, meditation, being in nature, Astrology and simply being yourself and having fun can all open you up to the positive side of life which also desire. That Ninth House stellium can also be very joyful and love life, love to learn, grow, expand in various ways and have a strong will to live life to the fullest.

I hope this can help answer some of your questions.

All the best

Hi, Linda,

Thanks a lot for your replying, Mars in Libra 8th describes the most intense conflict in my relationships! The Leo full moon squares my natal Moon/Nodes, sextile my natal Venus in 9th Libra, trine my natal Uranus in 11th Sagittarius, it brought an emotional peak, i literally took one day to cry, to release all the pain and fear, and try to analysis my relationship patterns objectively: It's so hard for me to bear conflict/quarrel in any relationship, i'm always the one to compromise, make peace, because i just want everything to be fine, that cause passive emotional control because i don't allow others to be angry. I get extremely sad and hurt when others get mad at me, especially in intimate relationship, i am living in fear of being abandoned, also fear of death of my lover, i'd be left all alone... And i canunderstand other people's emotion/motivation, why they are mad, so i can't blame them, and feel if i don't do something, make sacrifices, there would be no chance to make everything fine again. I feel trapped in childhood emotional patterns, i am happy with my husband, but when he gets impatient/angry (even not at me), i take it very personal, absorbed all negative energy, over react, then i see my parents in him, and i know childhood experiences are relive pattern from past life, i need to take responsibility, the powerless feeling triggerzs hatred towards myself of being weak, too sensitive, and develops anger towards myself (that's one of reasons that i have very violent horror dream, Mars Libra 8th squares Neptune Capricorn 12th: attract projected anger and dark energy in dream realm).

I am reading pluto book again, and find this is exactly how i feel during this Leo Full Moon: "Emotions can be compulsively expressed when pluto aspects the moon. The person may emotionally and intellectually resolve to operate in a different manner, yet, much to their own horror, find themselves manifesting an old compulsive pattern in emotional behavior. This situation promotes self-rage, anger and hatred on a cyclic basis because the individual feels powerless to change the pattern even when the desire and intent is to do so. In the worst scenarios, this dynmic can promote thoughts of suicide, or a subconscious death wish as the individual seeks to escape the pain that characterizes his or her emotional life."

QuoteEvolution by way of the North Node of Mars Gemini 5th (conj Chiron and NN Uranus, mental wound/trauma) exactly inconjunct South Node of Mars 10th and exactly sextile the North Node of Neptune in Leo has led to crisis but also healing through sharing fun, joy, and creativity with others, thus rejuvenating the worn-out aspects of the Soul (suppression, distortion, 10th).

I always want to learn writing skills, so i can create something out of my dream recording, something like writing short horror stories..."South Node of Mars 10th sextile the North Node of Neptune in Leo", Leo/5th house correlates to find the power within, take control of life back, this reminds me that in many of my horror dreams about being in danger, murdered, tortured, chased (i think these dreams reflect past life trauma patterns if it's not exactly how it happened)... very often i was consciously aware that i was dreaming, then tried to change how the dream develop, tried to fight back, tried to find a way out, i think my soul is in healing process during dream/sleep as well, and it's even more powerful than awake life.

QuoteWhen one consciously begins the journey to truly spiritualize, melatonin is increased within the brain/consciousness in order to dissolve the apparent boundary between the current ego and the Soul. As this occurs, the Soul then becomes increasingly aware, consciously, of the Source of All Things: actual inner 'cosmic' consciousness in varying degrees of realization - the Ultimate, the Absolute. As a result of this, when the consciousness is then 'snapped' back to 'normal' reality - life on earth with all that that means and implies - the contrast that one's consciousness is then presented with causes, for many, a transiting state of depression. This depression is caused by the inner knowledge that one must complete whatever the current life is about - the gravity of time and space, mortality, the baggage of the 'body,' the baggage of the totality of what the life is about.

I completely resonate with this, i have repeating dreams seeing mutiple sun/moon/planet above the sea, i can breath calmly under deep sea, i was overwhelmed by the beautiful scene, and i feel belong to the dreams that i surrounded by water and mountains. Waking up to normal reality is like being take away from the magic world, i can only be present at very low level.

QuoteThis brings us back to your 8th house Mars in Libra, your 8th house cusp ruled by Sun Scorpio 9th (ruled by Pluto), and Sun-Juno-Pluto (purpose-commitment-Soul) all in Scorpio.  What is the unique ability and capacity you are sharing with others?  It must be EA! 

Definitely EA! Because all of these go back to 9th house Scorpio, is it right choice for me to retreat from society, learn EA, natural laws, spiritual knowledge first, then when i am ready, i can share them with others, or during my studying, share them with others in a distance?

Hello Kelly,


MERCURY RETROGRADE AQUARIUS 2015 ~ ☿ Rx


5 Jan - 1 Aquarius 18 - Mercury Enters Rx Zone
21 Jan - 17 Aquarius 05 Rx - Mercury Stationary Retrograde
11 Feb - 1 Aquarius 18 - Mercury Stationary Direct
3 Mar - 17 Aquarius 05 - Mercury Leaves Rx Zone


Now that Mercury is Direct, would you like to report on any intense revelations, sudden awakenings, breaking from the past, final answers or evolutionary lessons that are pouring in?


Thanks,

Linda

Hi Skywalker,

Thanks so much for your replying, i resonate with every word you said deeply, i have been reading it several times, it helps me so much.

QuoteThere can be fear and anxiety that doesn´t allow you to really relax and feel safe because of these traumatic experiences and the fear of repeating similar experiences.

That's exactly how i feel, i developed compulsive praying habit, almost a ritual, wish to stop these repeating experiences since i was a child. Before 25, my life was in a condition of totally re-living prior life dynamics. Seems everytime i feel good about myself, feel happy, forget about pain, there would be serious consequence, i'd be punished, i "figured" to suffer first, to be prepared for worst may help me to avoid the actual suffering. All of these mental process exhaust my energy. Talk to like minded people really helps me to release these pressure, to know that i'm not crazy, and laugh at our OCD, learn to take it easy.

QuoteRemember that it is also self judgement and potentially guilt from past lives of judging others that also needs to be dissolved and healed.

I have been really judgemental on others and surrounded by very judgemental friends/family as well, realising that everyone has its own past, i'm not in any position to judge anyone, trying to understand the deep reason of other's behavior, and be more tolerant, the guilt within myself is dissolving slowly. Especially after i keep trying to explain to my parents/friends what i learn from EA, they become very tolerant and support the way i live my life. That's definitely a direct experiences i need to find solution of these judgements i am afraid of.

QuoteThe fear of endlessness to me sounds like a fear of loss of control. There may of been situations of intense powerlessness in previous lives for sustained periods of time, with no hope and therefore a fear of losing yourself into the "abyss" of emotional endless suffering. This may of happened in another life or lives in which you may of been imporisoned or totally lost within yourself or in the outer world and with no end in sight, no boundary to limit the loss of control, nothing to hold on to.

Thanks so much for point this out, by reading it, make it so clear, it already helps me a lot. When i saw my grandfather and aunt suffered from cancer and died very painfully, it triggered my deep fear of dying slowly, i feel i have been in this situation in past lives, being imprisoned,tortured, totally lost will to live, desperately just wait for death coming. I always think if i'm captured (i don't know why i feel i'd be captured by bad people) i need a suicide pill, make sure i don't suffer at all... Also i have moon in taurus conjunct NN, jupiter in aquarius 1st house (rules 12th house) squares Nodes, i tried to survive too, this live in dreams, i keep developing new method to survive, to save myself from past live experiences, as a way to break free/heal past trauma.

QuoteRelative to physical energy"¦ I would look at Mars which is square Neptune in Capricorn in the Twelfth House which to me, according to what you said, indicates that the way you interface with your environment depletes your energy as you are basically at odds with the environmental vibe and people in general. You are not relaxed and can always be a little insecure and ready for some potential threat to your security. The constant interfacing with a reality that is hostile and barren or dry, void of love and nurturing seems to create a sense of depression when you interface with it and then simply feel like giving up. With Mars square Neptune things can seem worse than they are thou. Another thing that can cause you to feel depressed and out of place is the fact that you may feel uneasy and disconnected from highly populated and city like areas. Your heavy Ninth House and sensitive nature could feel less vulnerable in more natural environments where you can simply be yourself without any fear of judgements or any potential threat and learn to relax. Also with Mars and Venus in Libra you may spend more energy trying to please others than really focusing on your own needs.

That's so true, i am always ready to suffer, to picture how bad things is gonna be, this makes me tired before i even start to do something. When i'm in crowd or situation i'm not comfortable, i tend to shut down my feeling, wish someone else would come to my body react for me. I feel comfortable and relax just walk in park, by water, or just sit at home enjoy some sunshine.

Thanks so much for your help again!

I'm not certain if 'just anyone' can post on these threads. But, I did want to point out that Kelly's Lucifer placement is at 9 degrees Leo in the 7th house (I don't see it on the chart posted)- square nodes, et al & opposite jupiter. I won't offer much more since I don't know if it's appropriate. I do want to share, though, Kelly, that Lucifer will step it up itself as you find yourself coming out of your suffering....creates a boomerang, whiplash effect - know that when you are feeling positive that's how you're intended to be, meant to be, you deserve to be and it's your true natural state - and that Lucifer will do it's worst to instill the negative state again...the 'good' news is Lucifer's effect shows you are learning how to defeat it, that's why it tries harder.
There is a thread on Lucifer, JWG has the lecture on Lucifer & then there is the 'old' message board archives.
As they say 'keep your chin up!'  :)

Hi Cindy,


Kelly's Lucifer/Bearer of Light @ 9 deg Leo in the 7th house


Great to hear from you!

You and anyone can post to the volunteer threads ... as often as you wish.

Thanks so much for your insights regarding Asteroid Lucifer in Kelly's chart. 

I didn't include it in the Solar Fire charts as I wasn't sure how to. 


Thanks,

Linda

Quote from: CindyRenee on Feb 15, 2015, 08:38 PM
I'm not certain if 'just anyone' can post on these threads. But, I did want to point out that Kelly's Lucifer placement is at 9 degrees Leo in the 7th house (I don't see it on the chart posted)- square nodes, et al & opposite jupiter. I won't offer much more since I don't know if it's appropriate. I do want to share, though, Kelly, that Lucifer will step it up itself as you find yourself coming out of your suffering....creates a boomerang, whiplash effect - know that when you are feeling positive that's how you're intended to be, meant to be, you deserve to be and it's your true natural state - and that Lucifer will do it's worst to instill the negative state again...the 'good' news is Lucifer's effect shows you are learning how to defeat it, that's why it tries harder.
There is a thread on Lucifer, JWG has the lecture on Lucifer & then there is the 'old' message board archives.
As they say 'keep your chin up!'  :)

Hi Cindy,

Thanks for pointing out Lucifer placement in my chart, i have read the Lucifer thread on message board too, i feel i need to know the darkness, so i can find a way to defeat it. I agree with you that Lucifer in my 7th house Leo, it creates a boomerang, whiplash effect by showing the darkest side of people i attracted to, showing power over me, threaten,  defeat my pride and so on, i think the "light" side is i need to find the power and love within, not be dependent on others approving, when i find that, i can share my love, and empower others? Also Lucifer squares Nodes, NN taurus 3rd house is the resolution Node, i think by learning it, talking about it, sharing what i know with others, help me to find a way to defeat Lucifer's dark energy.

The trick with Lucifer is to keep in mind it's ultimate function is 'the bearer of light', in a sense the joke's on evil in the end. Lucifer's position shows where an enormous amount of evolution can occur. AS you evolve and your soul is correlated with greater gifts, insights and closer to aligning your desire's with god/dess desires evil is more invested in screwing around with you!
With Lucifer you need to look at those symbols and take responsibility for your own complicity in whatever is symbolized, make sure you are not in a victim consciousness, and to see how you undermine yourself. In your case you'll need to ask yourself in what ways, how and why you feel that you are giving away your power or it is being 'taken'. With the placement (Lucifer in 7th/Leo) and your words about 'dissociating', basically, around other people  it seems that in & of itself is showing how you are complicit with losing your power, objectivity, sense of self - when you do this you are allowing other people to project whatever they want onto you because you aren't participating, you aren't acknowledging your needs, that you have needs and you aren't participating in the basic give/take of having them met. The influence of Lucifer is invested in keeping you in this dissociative state - it feels safe to you but it is keeping you from realizing your potential, creative gifts, self-actualization and having your needs met in relationships, to be recognized for your authentic self. I would ask yourself how, why in what way you feel that your innate sense of self, destiny has been fractured, traumatized and in what ways you've  compensated for that(the opposition to Jupiter/1st/aquarius).
With the amount of soul deep despair & trauma you've experienced it's no wonder you feel as you do (all that Scorpio!! & square to Lucifer) - don't bother feeling bad about feeling bad - it's natural to feel that way after trauma (Jupiter/aquarious, 9th house stuff - 'natural' 'trauma' keywords)- just remember the process itself, the emotions themselves aren't YOU (the square Lucifer to 4th house moon/nodes), they are a tool to help you evolve and understand what's occurred to you. Your soul is probably got the past & future all confused (the nodal placements/the squares/the conjunctions to nodes/pluto) - you're neither here or there, yet everywhere and nowhere at once! It's like you've been down the rabbit hole so long you need some kind of rehabilitation out of Wonderland!  ;) (north node Taurus)
I feel that you've sensed many gifts, abilities within yourself you're yearning to express but circumstances, greater collective circumstances out of your control, cultural issues have derailed you - all of this build up has forced you to come to terms with lifetimes and finally face it (the 9th house, fire signs/scorpio, the Leo placement of Lucifer, Jupiter, 1st AQ squaring nodes). Your soul is ready to heal and move into a fruition stage wherein you can finally express your gifts, be who you innately are and self-actualize(fruition possible signature with Pluto/south node). Confusing and conflating the future with the past is keeping you enmeshed in negative feedback cycles. Don't put the cart before the horse & fear literal situations, focus on the actual emotional reality in order to objectively understand it and heal(north node taurus/moon/fourth). Those literal fears of situations are simply evil's way of 'keeping you busy' doing it's work of keeping you in the dark!
I agree with all you said about your lucifer placement. But, you need to recognize that you have to take the first steps in assessing your needs, being present emotionally, and stand up for who you innately are. It will empower you and attract the right people to you who you in turn can help and empower.
I hope what I've written in helpful! One breath at a time  :)

You said you feel happy in nature - nature is a natural healer!  :)  I think you need to be reminded and remember how it feels to be you, anything that helps, reinforces that is great. Spend as much time in nature as you can to heal and rediscover your identity and how you naturally feel. When you are with others or in stressful situations, identifying with negative emotions -  remember how you felt when you were in nature & recreate that feeling within yourself as best you can. :)

Hi Cindy,


Lucifer/Bearer of Light


That's great!  And it will help Kelly tremendously.

It's beautiful to pass on these insights which ultimately everyone can learn from and apply to their own Lucifer/Bearer of Light placement.

Cindy, what you are offering is completely awesome, filled with Light ~ and I hope to keep reading your conversation with Kelly.


Please add headings to your posts

Because these threads are for "Educational Purposes," I would ask you to please add a heading to your posts, eg Lucifer/Bearer of Light @ 9 deg Leo in the 7th house, or whatever else.  Also, please clearly state the chart aspects that you are referring to, to back up your statements, eg cultural issues, feeling happy in Nature, Soul trauma, etc.  People reading may not readily know the astrological correlations.

This will help make the correlations to the chart very clear to those reading and learning about EA.



Thanks,

Linda   :-*

Yes, Linda, right after I posted I realized all that & knew some instruction like that was coming  :)
Not very helpful to talk about compensation, et al without referencing that Jupiter/1st/Aquarius. I was in a time crunch!
Tonight or tomorrow morning I shall go back and insert the relevant planetary aspects. In the most general way I was speaking of Lucifer placement opposite Jupiter placement & the squares to the nodes/planets conjunct nodes. Despite being a Virgo & having a balsamic mercury pluto conjunction & in the 6th (!) I find it quite tedious to harness the bigger, intuitive vision that comes through! I must admit that is why I don't participate a lot in some threads - guess my lazy south node Taurus  ;)
And thank you for your kind words! I truly hope Kelly is helped and thankful if I could help.

Hi Cindy,
Thanks a lot for sharing your insights about lucifer placement in my chart, it is very helpful!

You said "In your case you'll need to ask yourself in what ways, how and why you feel that you are giving away your power or it is being 'taken'. "

By telling myself my needs/feelings doesn't matter, i give power to people, so i don't have to confront the conflicts in relationships.

Quoteit seems that in & of itself is showing how you are complicit with losing your power, objectivity, sense of self - when you do this you are allowing other people to project whatever they want onto you because you aren't participating, you aren't acknowledging your needs, that you have needs and you aren't participating in the basic give/take of having them met.

That's so true, sometimes i didn't even notice how did it starts, it's like automatically i'm in this situation again, when i am conscious about this, i become detached, obeserve my behavior outside of my body, and feel disgusted by myself...

QuoteI would ask yourself how, why in what way you feel that your innate sense of self, destiny has been fractured, traumatized and in what ways you've  compensated for that.

When others project whatever they want on me, i feel i just close my eyes, shut down, wait all these dark energy run over me. I ask myself why not to confront people, i am afraid of losing control, and assume others can be very violent, make me regret that i stand up for myself.

QuoteDon't put the cart before the horse & fear literal situations, focus on the actual emotional reality in order to objectively understand it and heal. Those literal fears of situations are simply evil's way of 'keeping you busy' doing it's work of keeping you in the dark!

Yes, i start to realise, to fear before i even in the situation, i complicit with evil's work. I took first steps with my family, friends, people i trust, to be who i really am, be present, have needs, their attitude change as well, i start to feel being respected, cared about.

Hi everyone,

I was re-reading Pluto's book during Mecury retrograde, i have some questions if that's ok.

Should i use birth place or place where i live in solar return chart? I tried to use place where i live, feels right, pluto is in 4th house, also in relocation chart i have heavy 4th house include pluto/sun/venus/mars plus Cancer AC. In Pluto book, Pluto through the 4th house chapter, it says physical problems that can manifest during this process will be associated with the medulla chakra, i think that's where my headaches happens, does medulla chakra correlates to uranus/aquarius/11th house as well? Both aquarius new moon brought me intense headaches, i'm very curious about the correlation.

Grateful for all your insights and help.

Hi Kelly,


I will refer your questions to Rad.


Thanks,

Linda

Hi Kelly,

"Should i use birth place or place where i live in solar return chart? I tried to use place where i live, feels right, pluto is in 4th house, also in relocation chart i have heavy 4th house include pluto/sun/venus/mars plus Cancer AC. In Pluto book, Pluto through the 4th house chapter, it says physical problems that can manifest during this process will be associated with the medulla chakra, i think that's where my headaches happens, does medulla chakra correlates to uranus/aquarius/11th house as well? Both aquarius new moon brought me intense headaches, i'm very curious about the correlation."

********

Yes, the natal place of birth is used for Solar Return Charts. No, the medulla chakra, of itself, does not correlate to Uranus, Aquarius, or the 11th Housee. They do correlate with the hypothalamus which correlates, among other things, to messages emanating from it that regulate the involuntary nervous system. This can be a major cause of headaches, migraines even,  when the Soul in under stress. Additionally, the primary brain which correlates to Mars, Pluto, and the Moon is very near the medulla chakra which can also be a cause of headaches/ migraines as well.

God Bless, Rad

Thanks Rad!

Hello Kelly,


MARCH 2015 ~ THE LAST URANUS/PLUTO SQUARE!


Wow ~ what a month of celestial events March is going to be!


-  Jupiter trine Uranus at 14 deg Leo/Aries in the first week,


-  Yod:  Sun - Pluto - Jupiter (apex) on 3-7 March,


-  Full Moon at 14 deg Virgo on 5 March,


-  Venus, Mars and Uranus in Aries conjunct the South Node and squaring Pluto in Capricorn,


-  Saturn turns Retrograde on 14 March,


-  the 7th and final Pluto/Uranus exact square at 15 deg Aries/Capricorn on 16-17 March,


-  a Super New Moon Solar Eclipse at 29 deg Pisces on 20 March,


-  Yod:  Mercury - Pluto - Jupiter on 21-23 March, and


-  Grand Trine:  Pluto, Venus and Black Moon Lilith at the end of the month.


Please let us know if you would like to share any events/insights at any time throughout the month.


Thanks so much,

Linda

Hi Linda and Everyone,

Recently, i have strong urge to take classes, to learn something new even i am not sure what should i learn exactly, EA/healing therapy/english classes/massage therapy... There is repeating voice in my head, telling me that i need to improve myself, to learn through directly experiences. After moving to US for about half year, i finally put myself together, ready to learn, and i realise i set up so much barriers for myself, felt i'm not ready, worried about my english is not good enough, i don't have basic knowledge or any professional skills, worried about other's openion and so on.....Now, at this beautiful virgo full moon, i am ready to learn, and even my husband doesn't believe in astrology or soul healing, i'm surprised that he is very supporting. But i am still very very resistant to learn driving... I don't want to control the machine....

Also, me and my husband decide to move to another part of the city, his boss offered a good opportunity and a nice apartment for us, we are going to move before may. I'm looking forward for another new beginning. It's really amazing and exciting that i have lived in the same place for 29 years of my life, now i move twice within 6 monthes!

Hi everyone, i'd like to share some feelings from my soul recently, i am still confused, hope i can express it clearly.

After i moved to US, especially recently, i feel like there are so many fragments of my soul exist in different time/space at the same moment, a part of me is still back at home, continue the life there, doing the same work everyday, living with family, and this me in US, was separated from that fragment at the moment i left, became the me now, it feels like at each moment that i made a new choice, i separated and left the old fragment, the old fragment is not the me right now anymore, but still exist and develops different possibilities in certain time/space. It's like parallel universes fiction/movie, just i never feel so real before.

I am still very confused about this feeling, is it illusion or does it mean anything? I'd love to learn about your opinions or if you have similar feelings?

Thanks as always.

Hi Kelly,


Questions re fragmentation of the Soul


Thanks for sharing your experiences, and also for your questions.

This thread is open to anyone who would like to offer their opinion regarding your interesting questions.

If none are forthcoming, we will ask Rad.


Thanks so much,

Linda

Thanks Linda!

Hi Kelly

QuoteAfter i moved to US, especially recently, i feel like there are so many fragments of my soul exist in different time/space at the same moment, a part of me is still back at home, continue the life there, doing the same work everyday, living with family, and this me in US, was separated from that fragment at the moment i left, became the me now, it feels like at each moment that i made a new choice, i separated and left the old fragment, the old fragment is not the me right now anymore, but still exist and develops different possibilities in certain time/space. It's like parallel universes fiction/movie, just i never feel so real before.

I am still very confused about this feeling, is it illusion or does it mean anything? I'd love to learn about your opinions or if you have similar feelings?

Thank you so much for sharing your experience with us. I would say very simply that the feelings of different fragments of your Soul existing in parallel is based on the intensity of prior lives experiences involving massive trauma which created psychological fragmentation, ie. a disconnection of dynamics/aspects of the personality and Soul. This involves also emotional states which are connected with each of these dynamics/experiences. These types of traumatic experiences were linked with philosophical/ideologic confrontations with larger powers of societal nature, as has been previously said in this thread. This is symbolized in the Jupiter square the nodes being Aquarius, Jupiter ruling the 11th House Sagittarius, which also squares Pluto and the 9th House Scorpio planets, and the Moon; the Jupiter being conjunct the south node of Neptune in Aquarius, with Neptune being in the 12th House, square to Mars in Libra in the 8th House. Intense levels of resulting PTS have existed.

With the Aquarius 1st House Jupiter skipped steps having their resolution lunar node in the 9th House Scorpio, healing of the fragmentation and integration of Soul/personality fragments would demand a detached contemplation of a compassionate nature, of the inherent truth of your own Soul, versus the stuff that has been projected on the Soul through traumatic dynamics of persecution. The inherent truth of the Soul is of emotional nature. Emotional penetration and understanding of the emotional dynamics which have been a basis for the need to create such types of prior lives experiences would allow for the fragments to integrate and associated emotional states to be processed. Embracing the Soul's inherent orientation to discover and expand its own truth can also be promoted through contemplation in Nature, for the Soul to remember-Aquarius-what its natural nature is. Being in Nature would be of help to promote intuitive insights -Jupiter, Aquarius, 9th House- about your nature, that would in turn allow for an alchemy and re-distribution of the emotional states which were associated with each of the fragments. Types of healing work such as hypnotherapy or past-lives regression work, focused on resolution of prior lives traumas and understanding of the causative factors would also be helpful-the Scorpio resolution Node and planets-and Jupiter being Aquarius, would demand a detached approach to these prior-lives experiences, in combination with deep emotional work.

God Bless, Gonzalo

Hi Gonzalo,

Just wanted to say that I am so happy you are back on the mb. The EA analysis's that you share with us are just so, so wonderful, accurate, and helpful.

God Bless, Rad

Hi Gonzalo,

Ditto, I second Rad's emotion. It is so good to see you here, you always have such valuable EA insights to offer.

Peace,
Kristin

Quote from: Gonzalo on Mar 15, 2015, 08:48 AM
Hi Kelly
Thank you so much for sharing your experience with us. I would say very simply that the feelings of different fragments of your Soul existing in parallel is based on the intensity of prior lives experiences involving massive trauma which created psychological fragmentation, ie. a disconnection of dynamics/aspects of the personality and Soul. This involves also emotional states which are connected with each of these dynamics/experiences. These types of traumatic experiences were linked with philosophical/ideologic confrontations with larger powers of societal nature, as has been previously said in this thread. This is symbolized in the Jupiter square the nodes being Aquarius, Jupiter ruling the 11th House Sagittarius, which also squares Pluto and the 9th House Scorpio planets, and the Moon; the Jupiter being conjunct the south node of Neptune in Aquarius, with Neptune being in the 12th House, square to Mars in Libra in the 8th House. Intense levels of resulting PTS have existed.

With the Aquarius 1st House Jupiter skipped steps having their resolution lunar node in the 9th House Scorpio, healing of the fragmentation and integration of Soul/personality fragments would demand a detached contemplation of a compassionate nature, of the inherent truth of your own Soul, versus the stuff that has been projected on the Soul through traumatic dynamics of persecution. The inherent truth of the Soul is of emotional nature. Emotional penetration and understanding of the emotional dynamics which have been a basis for the need to create such types of prior lives experiences would allow for the fragments to integrate and associated emotional states to be processed. Embracing the Soul's inherent orientation to discover and expand its own truth can also be promoted through contemplation in Nature, for the Soul to remember-Aquarius-what its natural nature is. Being in Nature would be of help to promote intuitive insights -Jupiter, Aquarius, 9th House- about your nature, that would in turn allow for an alchemy and re-distribution of the emotional states which were associated with each of the fragments. Types of healing work such as hypnotherapy or past-lives regression work, focused on resolution of prior lives traumas and understanding of the causative factors would also be helpful-the Scorpio resolution Node and planets-and Jupiter being Aquarius, would demand a detached approach to these prior-lives experiences, in combination with deep emotional work.

God Bless, Gonzalo

Hi Gonzalo, thanks so much for your insights, it's so clear and i'm absolutely resonate with every words. It's interesting, i'm drawed to past-lives regression recently, tried to listen to hypnosis vedios just few days ago, i noticed a voice i can trust, brings calmness/positive aura is so important to me, i'm easily paranoid and get scared during the process.

Is it right to say that my soul has chosen those intense past lives traumatic experiences, and chosed to remember these traumatic experiences on emotional level in this life time because it can trigger evolution, the traumatic memories/feelings can help my soul keep searching the truth through contemplation, so the healing, metamorphosis can happen?

Hello Gonzalo!


I so appreciate you joining in with your amazing insights into Kelly's chart dynamics.

Kelly has asked you a further question ~ I look forward very much to your answer.


Bravo and thank you SO much!!

Linda

Hi Kelly,

QuoteIs it right to say that my soul has chosen those intense past lives traumatic experiences and chosed to remember these traumatic experiences on emotional level in this life time because it can trigger evolution, the traumatic memories/feelings can help my soul keep searching the truth through contemplation, so the healing, metamorphosis can happen?

Quote

Yes, from the point of view of EA the Soul choses each and all of its experiences. And then we have a chance to learn in retrospect as to why we created them, ie. which the causative desires and dynamics, emanating from the Soul, have been for these experiences. Thus, key memories the Soul recovers from its past, coupled with desires to heal and evolve, intend to help us in our ongoing evolution.

God Bless, Gonzalo

Hi Gonzalo,

along with the others I really appreciated your great analysis

blessings Upasika

Quote from: Gonzalo on Mar 16, 2015, 08:46 AM
Hi Kelly,

Is it right to say that my soul has chosen those intense past lives traumatic experiences and chosed to remember these traumatic experiences on emotional level in this life time because it can trigger evolution, the traumatic memories/feelings can help my soul keep searching the truth through contemplation, so the healing, metamorphosis can happen?

Yes, from the point of view of EA the Soul choses each and all of its experiences. And then we have a chance to learn in retrospect as to why we created them, ie. which the causative desires and dynamics, emanating from the Soul, have been for these experiences. Thus, key memories the Soul recovers from its past, coupled with desires to heal and evolve, intend to help us in our ongoing evolution.

God Bless, Gonzalo

Thanks so much!

Hi Kelly,

I need to add to my last post that we also remember experiences of prior traumas for the emotional processing of the unresolved states, and progressive integration. This is necessary for a progressive liberation of the energy of trauma which has been repressed, and stored in the individuated unconscious-Aquarius. In your chart, this is indicated in the same symbols: Aquarius Jupiter square the nodes, resolving through the Scorpio South Node conjunct Pluto and the Sun.

God Bless, Gonzalo 

Quote from: Gonzalo on Mar 16, 2015, 05:18 PM
Hi Kelly,

I need to add to my last post that we also remember experiences of prior traumas for the emotional processing of the unresolved states, and progressive integration. This is necessary for a progressive liberation of the energy of trauma which has been repressed, and stored in the individuated unconscious-Aquarius. In your chart, this is indicated in the same symbols: Aquarius Jupiter square the nodes, resolving through the Scorpio South Node conjunct Pluto and the Sun.

God Bless, Gonzalo 

Hi Gonzalo, thanks so much for your analysis, it's so interesting i had a dream last night reflects what you said "as Jupiter being Aquarius, would demand a detached approach to these prior-lives experiences". I only remember part of the dream: I was sleeping on a therapist bed in the apartment i'm gonna move in next month, i was trying to recovery memories from past lives, a tall black hair white male astrologer (i think he is a shape of myself) stood by my bed, asked if i lost friends from WWâ... or â...¡, told me that my fear and sleep paralysis may correlates with that experiences. I saw myself (observe my dream from outside) lying on bed struggling to open my eyes but couldn't, it's like watching myself going through sleep paralysis, and have very detached fear, and i heard a woman laughing/roaring, threaten that my sleep paralysis will continue, and i feel this astrologer is comming to help me guide me through the fear, but he is in a different realm, so his power is restricted, can't help me directly, the "me" on bed need to overcome the fear by myself. After i woke up, i remember the "me" in my dream looks different too, it's a young caucasian woman with black hair and tan skin. I suddently remember i had many dreams which i observe different "me" suffering fear/traumatic experiences...I think those "me" could be my soul fragments, and dream is my way of detached approach to these fragments.

But I don't really understand how to integrate them? Or in what state, i can tell i integrated them?

Hi Kelly,

Thank you for the question. I would say that, in your case, the ongoing process of integrating those past-lives experiences of trauma needs to occur in the most simple and natural possible ways. With the Pluto polarity point and the North Node being in Taurus, with the Moon also being in Taurus the 4th House, there is an overall bottom-line intention to integrate the physical body, to internalize consciousness within the physical body. Venus -North Node ruler- being in the 9th House in Libra, reflects using the vehicle of the senses, to connect with Nature through the senses, which will also help remember what needs to be remembered. There has been an overall need to slow down, to withdraw, and to internalize the process, to make it an inner process versus recreating external confrontations. Also Saturn and Mercury are in the 10th House in Scorpio, Scorpio is in the 10th House cusp. So there is an overall need for stability of the process, rather than a need for intensity. Same time, there are the unresolved emotional states and energy of stress connected with traumatic memories of prior lifetimes, which are seeking resolution and healing versus needing to be replayed. And this process involves an intensity of inner work of psychological and emotional nature. In combination, I would say that an overall focus is needed in making the process "˜less intense' rather than "˜more intense' ,  through emotional detachment when dealing with emotional states or sensory imprints that can become overwhelming. This is necessary in order to avoid being consumed in the intensity of emotions, and also in order not to trigger defenses based on avoidance or alienation (9th House Pluto and South Node, and Venus there being the ruler of the North Node in Taurus). Maintaining normal levels of brain serotonin is necessary in order to be able to have perspective on the process, to situate the emotional contents arising from past experiences, in the past, and to be able to create a linear order allowing to narrate and thus help process the intensity of traumatic memories-Pluto polarity point and North Node in the 3rd House. Intensity will occur by itself anyways, at key moments of the process. Putting traumatic memories in perspective and differentiating such memories from current existing circumstances is very necessary.

Relative degrees of detachment are also necessary for "˜fragments' to integrate, because extremes of emotional intensity can also replay the memories in their own neural substrate, without allowing for the necessary new connections required for integration within the "˜whole picture'.

I would also say that you will simply "˜know' when integration takes place, progressively, and you will also be able to integrate the associated emotional states in a sequential narrative. Something like "˜this is my nature, then, this triggers this other states/dynamics, so, they come later in the story'.

Please ask more if necessary, and Rad and others, please contribute if you feel it necessary for a clear answer to Kelly. I will try to come back with some more if needed.   

God Bless, Gonzalo

Dear Kelly and everyone"¦

Please excuse my not reading thoroughly thru this thread before commenting. I am directly responding to your comments about fragmentation.

"After i moved to US, especially recently, i feel like there are so many fragments of my soul exist in different time/space at the same moment, a part of me is still back at home, continue the life there, doing the same work everyday, living with family, and this me in US, was separated from that fragment at the moment i left, became the me now, it feels like at each moment that i made a new choice, i separated and left the old fragment, the old fragment is not the me right now anymore, but still exist and develops different possibilities in certain time/space. It's like parallel universes fiction/movie, just i never feel so real before.

I am still very confused about this feeling, is it illusion or does it mean anything? I'd love to learn about your opinions or if you have similar feelings?"

The issue of "˜soul fragmentation' is very real, as Gonzalo pointed out the signature in your chart indicates this is not only a current life issue. We can and do incarnate already fragmented, this is a basic understanding in EA"¦. We are all already born with various degrees of PTSD.  When a soul part has become fragmented it exists in it's own "˜bubble' separated from the total psyche. It is frozen in time and space usually along with the memory and emotional affect that occurred as a result of the original traumatic event. What that means is that when you experience an event that is similar (either symbolic or exact) to the past event in your life it will "˜trigger' the latent traumatic affect ( ie..the thoughts , feelings and body memory).

I am just painting a broad brush stroke here to give you an idea of some of the possible past life scenarios. With your loaded 9th house "˜Immigration/displacement trauma' can be part of your souls experience. For example being forced to move away from ones homeland because of war/starvation/plague/invasion/being taken captive etc.. are all possible scenarios that leave the lasting imprint that moving away from home (9th/3rd as well as 10/4th house axis) is a life and death ( Scorpio issue) as well as the feeling of huge loss (Scorpio) and issues around survival (Taurus). So of course moving in this life is going to trigger all those old stories and the deeper affect that lingers in your subconscious memory. While it might help you to know in your conscious mind, that it is NOT happening NOW"¦ (which you can reaffirm for yourself) to the subconscious mind there is no past/present/future..it is all happening now.  Which is why you feel the traumatic affect.

There are also several possible past life events that lead to the sleep paralysis"¦ being blown up on the battle field"¦ and that past life self, not even being aware that it is dead, and still stuck there fragmented is one such scenario. Another is being broken during torture or interrogation( In your current life being beaten as a child (nodal axis cusp 4th/10th) and then forced to "˜confess' or say things that were not true to you (3rd/9th) can be  a replay of similar past life scenarios. This current life experience is a re-imprinting of past life traumas that "˜pushes the issue' of the evolutionary intention in this lifetime, which in relation to healing that trauma, is to regain your authentic self (Jupiter in the first - identity) in relation to 9th house Pluto and S node, through not only de-conditioning (cusp 10th) from lies about yourself  (3rd/9thaxis) you have internalized, but by deep penetration (scorpio into your souls core).  Another such past life scenario as I mentioned is being broken under torture and internalizing the beliefs of the torturers"¦ such as them telling you"¦ you are evil, bad etc"¦

The difficulty with such soul fragments is that you cannot cognate them back into integration in the psyche. You need to "˜retrieve' them in their original state"¦ (ie..instead of expecting them to be able to come to you in your present state"¦ (which is what most cognitive approaches try to do ) you need to go to THEM in their original state which means therapeutically re-experiencing them , bringing the impulses they hold to completion, which dissolves the defenses around them (which keep them un-integrated and dissociated from the total psyche)  and then bring them back into the psyche.  As Gonzalo mentioned "¦.regression or any other similar experiential process which aims to do actual soul retrieval.  But make sure whomever you work with really understands the dynamics of trauma and it's effect on the psyche.
Ultimately moving towards the NN with moon there in Taurus 3rd/4th house cusp"¦. As well as Pluto Polarity point, is to reengage the emotional body and regain the sense of safety in your physical body. Bottom line keywords for your healing "¦trust, safety, authenticity, integration and a gentle felt-sense of self.  There is a need in this life to "˜turn down the intensity', and allow yourself to reintegrate in gentle ways. Body work and also Somatic Experiencing could also be helpful. You are already seeking deeper and expansive answers, which is why your finding EA in relation to an empowered sense of your 9th house was probably very healing 

PS... Oh how funny is that... I wrote this before I read Gonzalos response ( just before mine)... It would appear we are thinking along the exact same lines. Right on!!!

PatriciaW,


Just want to say WELCOME to Kelly's volunteer thread

and thanks so much for your incredible insights!

Cat and I appreciate that you would find the time in

your busy schedule to help out.


So much Love,

Linda and Cat

Quote from: Gonzalo on Mar 19, 2015, 01:17 PM
Hi Kelly,

Thank you for the question. I would say that, in your case, the ongoing process of integrating those past-lives experiences of trauma needs to occur in the most simple and natural possible ways. With the Pluto polarity point and the North Node being in Taurus, with the Moon also being in Taurus the 4th House, there is an overall bottom-line intention to integrate the physical body, to internalize consciousness within the physical body. Venus -North Node ruler- being in the 9th House in Libra, reflects using the vehicle of the senses, to connect with Nature through the senses, which will also help remember what needs to be remembered. There has been an overall need to slow down, to withdraw, and to internalize the process, to make it an inner process versus recreating external confrontations. Also Saturn and Mercury are in the 10th House in Scorpio, Scorpio is in the 10th House cusp. So there is an overall need for stability of the process, rather than a need for intensity. Same time, there are the unresolved emotional states and energy of stress connected with traumatic memories of prior lifetimes, which are seeking resolution and healing versus needing to be replayed. And this process involves an intensity of inner work of psychological and emotional nature. In combination, I would say that an overall focus is needed in making the process "˜less intense' rather than "˜more intense' ,  through emotional detachment when dealing with emotional states or sensory imprints that can become overwhelming. This is necessary in order to avoid being consumed in the intensity of emotions, and also in order not to trigger defenses based on avoidance or alienation (9th House Pluto and South Node, and Venus there being the ruler of the North Node in Taurus). Maintaining normal levels of brain serotonin is necessary in order to be able to have perspective on the process, to situate the emotional contents arising from past experiences, in the past, and to be able to create a linear order allowing to narrate and thus help process the intensity of traumatic memories-Pluto polarity point and North Node in the 3rd House. Intensity will occur by itself anyways, at key moments of the process. Putting traumatic memories in perspective and differentiating such memories from current existing circumstances is very necessary.

Relative degrees of detachment are also necessary for "˜fragments' to integrate, because extremes of emotional intensity can also replay the memories in their own neural substrate, without allowing for the necessary new connections required for integration within the "˜whole picture'.

I would also say that you will simply "˜know' when integration takes place, progressively, and you will also be able to integrate the associated emotional states in a sequential narrative. Something like "˜this is my nature, then, this triggers this other states/dynamics, so, they come later in the story'.

Please ask more if necessary, and Rad and others, please contribute if you feel it necessary for a clear answer to Kelly. I will try to come back with some more if needed.  

God Bless, Gonzalo

Hi, Gonzalo

Your answer is so clear, thanks so much for your help. You said "I would also say that you will simply "˜know' when integration takes place, progressively." It's so true, i feel when i start to enjoy my life, my body, truly appreciated and be grateful for life, i'll get there.

Quote from: PatriciaW on Mar 19, 2015, 04:27 PM
Dear Kelly and everyone"¦

Please excuse my not reading thoroughly thru this thread before commenting. I am directly responding to your comments about fragmentation.

"After i moved to US, especially recently, i feel like there are so many fragments of my soul exist in different time/space at the same moment, a part of me is still back at home, continue the life there, doing the same work everyday, living with family, and this me in US, was separated from that fragment at the moment i left, became the me now, it feels like at each moment that i made a new choice, i separated and left the old fragment, the old fragment is not the me right now anymore, but still exist and develops different possibilities in certain time/space. It's like parallel universes fiction/movie, just i never feel so real before.

I am still very confused about this feeling, is it illusion or does it mean anything? I'd love to learn about your opinions or if you have similar feelings?"

The issue of "˜soul fragmentation' is very real, as Gonzalo pointed out the signature in your chart indicates this is not only a current life issue. We can and do incarnate already fragmented, this is a basic understanding in EA"¦. We are all already born with various degrees of PTSD.  When a soul part has become fragmented it exists in it's own "˜bubble' separated from the total psyche. It is frozen in time and space usually along with the memory and emotional affect that occurred as a result of the original traumatic event. What that means is that when you experience an event that is similar (either symbolic or exact) to the past event in your life it will "˜trigger' the latent traumatic affect ( ie..the thoughts , feelings and body memory).

I am just painting a broad brush stroke here to give you an idea of some of the possible past life scenarios. With your loaded 9th house "˜Immigration/displacement trauma' can be part of your souls experience. For example being forced to move away from ones homeland because of war/starvation/plague/invasion/being taken captive etc.. are all possible scenarios that leave the lasting imprint that moving away from home (9th/3rd as well as 10/4th house axis) is a life and death ( Scorpio issue) as well as the feeling of huge loss (Scorpio) and issues around survival (Taurus). So of course moving in this life is going to trigger all those old stories and the deeper affect that lingers in your subconscious memory. While it might help you to know in your conscious mind, that it is NOT happening NOW"¦ (which you can reaffirm for yourself) to the subconscious mind there is no past/present/future..it is all happening now.  Which is why you feel the traumatic affect.

There are also several possible past life events that lead to the sleep paralysis"¦ being blown up on the battle field"¦ and that past life self, not even being aware that it is dead, and still stuck there fragmented is one such scenario. Another is being broken during torture or interrogation( In your current life being beaten as a child (nodal axis cusp 4th/10th) and then forced to "˜confess' or say things that were not true to you (3rd/9th) can be  a replay of similar past life scenarios. This current life experience is a re-imprinting of past life traumas that "˜pushes the issue' of the evolutionary intention in this lifetime, which in relation to healing that trauma, is to regain your authentic self (Jupiter in the first - identity) in relation to 9th house Pluto and S node, through not only de-conditioning (cusp 10th) from lies about yourself  (3rd/9thaxis) you have internalized, but by deep penetration (scorpio into your souls core).  Another such past life scenario as I mentioned is being broken under torture and internalizing the beliefs of the torturers"¦ such as them telling you"¦ you are evil, bad etc"¦

The difficulty with such soul fragments is that you cannot cognate them back into integration in the psyche. You need to "˜retrieve' them in their original state"¦ (ie..instead of expecting them to be able to come to you in your present state"¦ (which is what most cognitive approaches try to do ) you need to go to THEM in their original state which means therapeutically re-experiencing them , bringing the impulses they hold to completion, which dissolves the defenses around them (which keep them un-integrated and dissociated from the total psyche)  and then bring them back into the psyche.  As Gonzalo mentioned "¦.regression or any other similar experiential process which aims to do actual soul retrieval.  But make sure whomever you work with really understands the dynamics of trauma and it's effect on the psyche.
Ultimately moving towards the NN with moon there in Taurus 3rd/4th house cusp"¦. As well as Pluto Polarity point, is to reengage the emotional body and regain the sense of safety in your physical body. Bottom line keywords for your healing "¦trust, safety, authenticity, integration and a gentle felt-sense of self.  There is a need in this life to "˜turn down the intensity', and allow yourself to reintegrate in gentle ways. Body work and also Somatic Experiencing could also be helpful. You are already seeking deeper and expansive answers, which is why your finding EA in relation to an empowered sense of your 9th house was probably very healing 

Hi Patricia,

Thanks so much, i'm just speechless by reading your reply. I resonate with every possible past life scenarios you mentioned above... When i read "being blown up on the battle field"¦", i feel so relief and ....kinda happy..... because i finaly get the causes of my irational fear..... that's is exactly how i fear of losing control, fear that my body just fell into pieces. My childhood was full of repeat patterns as you mentioned, it always bothers me why my parents can be so angry to a kid, like they see evil in me.....It's just so scary how projection  can hurt people.... After saturn return, my relationship with my parents improved so much, they understand me and being very supportive, projections between us dissolved gradually.

Thanks again for your precious advices, and thanks everyone for offering such wonderful learning experiences!