Volunteer ~ "Kelly" ~ EA Personal In-depth Chart and Transit Analysis

[Linda]

Kelly's Chart

Asteroid Lucifer/Bearer of Light @ 9 deg Leo

[Linda]

Hi Kelly,


Questions re fragmentation of the Soul


Thanks for sharing your experiences, and also for your questions.

This thread is open to anyone who would like to offer their opinion regarding your interesting questions.

If none are forthcoming, we will ask Rad.


Thanks so much,

Linda

[Kelly]

Thanks Linda!

[Gonzalo]

Hi Kelly

After i moved to US, especially recently, i feel like there are so many fragments of my soul exist in different time/space at the same moment, a part of me is still back at home, continue the life there, doing the same work everyday, living with family, and this me in US, was separated from that fragment at the moment i left, became the me now, it feels like at each moment that i made a new choice, i separated and left the old fragment, the old fragment is not the me right now anymore, but still exist and develops different possibilities in certain time/space. It's like parallel universes fiction/movie, just i never feel so real before.

I am still very confused about this feeling, is it illusion or does it mean anything? I'd love to learn about your opinions or if you have similar feelings?

Thank you so much for sharing your experience with us. I would say very simply that the feelings of different fragments of your Soul existing in parallel is based on the intensity of prior lives experiences involving massive trauma which created psychological fragmentation, ie. a disconnection of dynamics/aspects of the personality and Soul. This involves also emotional states which are connected with each of these dynamics/experiences. These types of traumatic experiences were linked with philosophical/ideologic confrontations with larger powers of societal nature, as has been previously said in this thread. This is symbolized in the Jupiter square the nodes being Aquarius, Jupiter ruling the 11th House Sagittarius, which also squares Pluto and the 9th House Scorpio planets, and the Moon; the Jupiter being conjunct the south node of Neptune in Aquarius, with Neptune being in the 12th House, square to Mars in Libra in the 8th House. Intense levels of resulting PTS have existed.

With the Aquarius 1st House Jupiter skipped steps having their resolution lunar node in the 9th House Scorpio, healing of the fragmentation and integration of Soul/personality fragments would demand a detached contemplation of a compassionate nature, of the inherent truth of your own Soul, versus the stuff that has been projected on the Soul through traumatic dynamics of persecution. The inherent truth of the Soul is of emotional nature. Emotional penetration and understanding of the emotional dynamics which have been a basis for the need to create such types of prior lives experiences would allow for the fragments to integrate and associated emotional states to be processed. Embracing the Soul's inherent orientation to discover and expand its own truth can also be promoted through contemplation in Nature, for the Soul to remember-Aquarius-what its natural nature is. Being in Nature would be of help to promote intuitive insights -Jupiter, Aquarius, 9th House- about your nature, that would in turn allow for an alchemy and re-distribution of the emotional states which were associated with each of the fragments. Types of healing work such as hypnotherapy or past-lives regression work, focused on resolution of prior lives traumas and understanding of the causative factors would also be helpful-the Scorpio resolution Node and planets-and Jupiter being Aquarius, would demand a detached approach to these prior-lives experiences, in combination with deep emotional work.

God Bless, Gonzalo

[Rad]

Hi Gonzalo,

Just wanted to say that I am so happy you are back on the mb. The EA analysis's that you share with us are just so, so wonderful, accurate, and helpful.

God Bless, Rad

[Kristin]

Hi Gonzalo,

Ditto, I second Rad's emotion. It is so good to see you here, you always have such valuable EA insights to offer.

Peace,
Kristin

[Kelly]

Hi Kelly
Thank you so much for sharing your experience with us. I would say very simply that the feelings of different fragments of your Soul existing in parallel is based on the intensity of prior lives experiences involving massive trauma which created psychological fragmentation, ie. a disconnection of dynamics/aspects of the personality and Soul. This involves also emotional states which are connected with each of these dynamics/experiences. These types of traumatic experiences were linked with philosophical/ideologic confrontations with larger powers of societal nature, as has been previously said in this thread. This is symbolized in the Jupiter square the nodes being Aquarius, Jupiter ruling the 11th House Sagittarius, which also squares Pluto and the 9th House Scorpio planets, and the Moon; the Jupiter being conjunct the south node of Neptune in Aquarius, with Neptune being in the 12th House, square to Mars in Libra in the 8th House. Intense levels of resulting PTS have existed.

With the Aquarius 1st House Jupiter skipped steps having their resolution lunar node in the 9th House Scorpio, healing of the fragmentation and integration of Soul/personality fragments would demand a detached contemplation of a compassionate nature, of the inherent truth of your own Soul, versus the stuff that has been projected on the Soul through traumatic dynamics of persecution. The inherent truth of the Soul is of emotional nature. Emotional penetration and understanding of the emotional dynamics which have been a basis for the need to create such types of prior lives experiences would allow for the fragments to integrate and associated emotional states to be processed. Embracing the Soul's inherent orientation to discover and expand its own truth can also be promoted through contemplation in Nature, for the Soul to remember-Aquarius-what its natural nature is. Being in Nature would be of help to promote intuitive insights -Jupiter, Aquarius, 9th House- about your nature, that would in turn allow for an alchemy and re-distribution of the emotional states which were associated with each of the fragments. Types of healing work such as hypnotherapy or past-lives regression work, focused on resolution of prior lives traumas and understanding of the causative factors would also be helpful-the Scorpio resolution Node and planets-and Jupiter being Aquarius, would demand a detached approach to these prior-lives experiences, in combination with deep emotional work.

God Bless, Gonzalo

Hi Gonzalo, thanks so much for your insights, it's so clear and i'm absolutely resonate with every words. It's interesting, i'm drawed to past-lives regression recently, tried to listen to hypnosis vedios just few days ago, i noticed a voice i can trust, brings calmness/positive aura is so important to me, i'm easily paranoid and get scared during the process.

Is it right to say that my soul has chosen those intense past lives traumatic experiences, and chosed to remember these traumatic experiences on emotional level in this life time because it can trigger evolution, the traumatic memories/feelings can help my soul keep searching the truth through contemplation, so the healing, metamorphosis can happen?

[Linda]

Hello Gonzalo!


I so appreciate you joining in with your amazing insights into Kelly's chart dynamics.

Kelly has asked you a further question ~ I look forward very much to your answer.


Bravo and thank you SO much!!

Linda

[Gonzalo]

Hi Kelly,

Is it right to say that my soul has chosen those intense past lives traumatic experiences and chosed to remember these traumatic experiences on emotional level in this life time because it can trigger evolution, the traumatic memories/feelings can help my soul keep searching the truth through contemplation, so the healing, metamorphosis can happen?

Yes, from the point of view of EA the Soul choses each and all of its experiences. And then we have a chance to learn in retrospect as to why we created them, ie. which the causative desires and dynamics, emanating from the Soul, have been for these experiences. Thus, key memories the Soul recovers from its past, coupled with desires to heal and evolve, intend to help us in our ongoing evolution.

God Bless, Gonzalo

[Upasika]

Hi Gonzalo,

along with the others I really appreciated your great analysis

blessings Upasika

[Kelly]

Hi Kelly,

Is it right to say that my soul has chosen those intense past lives traumatic experiences and chosed to remember these traumatic experiences on emotional level in this life time because it can trigger evolution, the traumatic memories/feelings can help my soul keep searching the truth through contemplation, so the healing, metamorphosis can happen?

Yes, from the point of view of EA the Soul choses each and all of its experiences. And then we have a chance to learn in retrospect as to why we created them, ie. which the causative desires and dynamics, emanating from the Soul, have been for these experiences. Thus, key memories the Soul recovers from its past, coupled with desires to heal and evolve, intend to help us in our ongoing evolution.

God Bless, Gonzalo

Thanks so much!

[Gonzalo]

Hi Kelly,

I need to add to my last post that we also remember experiences of prior traumas for the emotional processing of the unresolved states, and progressive integration. This is necessary for a progressive liberation of the energy of trauma which has been repressed, and stored in the individuated unconscious-Aquarius. In your chart, this is indicated in the same symbols: Aquarius Jupiter square the nodes, resolving through the Scorpio South Node conjunct Pluto and the Sun.

God Bless, Gonzalo 

[Kelly]

Hi Kelly,

I need to add to my last post that we also remember experiences of prior traumas for the emotional processing of the unresolved states, and progressive integration. This is necessary for a progressive liberation of the energy of trauma which has been repressed, and stored in the individuated unconscious-Aquarius. In your chart, this is indicated in the same symbols: Aquarius Jupiter square the nodes, resolving through the Scorpio South Node conjunct Pluto and the Sun.

God Bless, Gonzalo 

Hi Gonzalo, thanks so much for your analysis, it's so interesting i had a dream last night reflects what you said "as Jupiter being Aquarius, would demand a detached approach to these prior-lives experiences". I only remember part of the dream: I was sleeping on a therapist bed in the apartment i'm gonna move in next month, i was trying to recovery memories from past lives, a tall black hair white male astrologer (i think he is a shape of myself) stood by my bed, asked if i lost friends from WWâ... or â...¡, told me that my fear and sleep paralysis may correlates with that experiences. I saw myself (observe my dream from outside) lying on bed struggling to open my eyes but couldn't, it's like watching myself going through sleep paralysis, and have very detached fear, and i heard a woman laughing/roaring, threaten that my sleep paralysis will continue, and i feel this astrologer is comming to help me guide me through the fear, but he is in a different realm, so his power is restricted, can't help me directly, the "me" on bed need to overcome the fear by myself. After i woke up, i remember the "me" in my dream looks different too, it's a young caucasian woman with black hair and tan skin. I suddently remember i had many dreams which i observe different "me" suffering fear/traumatic experiences...I think those "me" could be my soul fragments, and dream is my way of detached approach to these fragments.

But I don't really understand how to integrate them? Or in what state, i can tell i integrated them?

[Gonzalo]

Hi Kelly,

Thank you for the question. I would say that, in your case, the ongoing process of integrating those past-lives experiences of trauma needs to occur in the most simple and natural possible ways. With the Pluto polarity point and the North Node being in Taurus, with the Moon also being in Taurus the 4th House, there is an overall bottom-line intention to integrate the physical body, to internalize consciousness within the physical body. Venus -North Node ruler- being in the 9th House in Libra, reflects using the vehicle of the senses, to connect with Nature through the senses, which will also help remember what needs to be remembered. There has been an overall need to slow down, to withdraw, and to internalize the process, to make it an inner process versus recreating external confrontations. Also Saturn and Mercury are in the 10th House in Scorpio, Scorpio is in the 10th House cusp. So there is an overall need for stability of the process, rather than a need for intensity. Same time, there are the unresolved emotional states and energy of stress connected with traumatic memories of prior lifetimes, which are seeking resolution and healing versus needing to be replayed. And this process involves an intensity of inner work of psychological and emotional nature. In combination, I would say that an overall focus is needed in making the process "˜less intense' rather than "˜more intense' ,  through emotional detachment when dealing with emotional states or sensory imprints that can become overwhelming. This is necessary in order to avoid being consumed in the intensity of emotions, and also in order not to trigger defenses based on avoidance or alienation (9th House Pluto and South Node, and Venus there being the ruler of the North Node in Taurus). Maintaining normal levels of brain serotonin is necessary in order to be able to have perspective on the process, to situate the emotional contents arising from past experiences, in the past, and to be able to create a linear order allowing to narrate and thus help process the intensity of traumatic memories-Pluto polarity point and North Node in the 3rd House. Intensity will occur by itself anyways, at key moments of the process. Putting traumatic memories in perspective and differentiating such memories from current existing circumstances is very necessary.

Relative degrees of detachment are also necessary for "˜fragments' to integrate, because extremes of emotional intensity can also replay the memories in their own neural substrate, without allowing for the necessary new connections required for integration within the "˜whole picture'.

I would also say that you will simply "˜know' when integration takes place, progressively, and you will also be able to integrate the associated emotional states in a sequential narrative. Something like "˜this is my nature, then, this triggers this other states/dynamics, so, they come later in the story'.

Please ask more if necessary, and Rad and others, please contribute if you feel it necessary for a clear answer to Kelly. I will try to come back with some more if needed.   

God Bless, Gonzalo

[PatriciaW]

Dear Kelly and everyone"¦

Please excuse my not reading thoroughly thru this thread before commenting. I am directly responding to your comments about fragmentation.

"After i moved to US, especially recently, i feel like there are so many fragments of my soul exist in different time/space at the same moment, a part of me is still back at home, continue the life there, doing the same work everyday, living with family, and this me in US, was separated from that fragment at the moment i left, became the me now, it feels like at each moment that i made a new choice, i separated and left the old fragment, the old fragment is not the me right now anymore, but still exist and develops different possibilities in certain time/space. It's like parallel universes fiction/movie, just i never feel so real before.

I am still very confused about this feeling, is it illusion or does it mean anything? I'd love to learn about your opinions or if you have similar feelings?"

The issue of "˜soul fragmentation' is very real, as Gonzalo pointed out the signature in your chart indicates this is not only a current life issue. We can and do incarnate already fragmented, this is a basic understanding in EA"¦. We are all already born with various degrees of PTSD.  When a soul part has become fragmented it exists in it's own "˜bubble' separated from the total psyche. It is frozen in time and space usually along with the memory and emotional affect that occurred as a result of the original traumatic event. What that means is that when you experience an event that is similar (either symbolic or exact) to the past event in your life it will "˜trigger' the latent traumatic affect ( ie..the thoughts , feelings and body memory).

I am just painting a broad brush stroke here to give you an idea of some of the possible past life scenarios. With your loaded 9th house "˜Immigration/displacement trauma' can be part of your souls experience. For example being forced to move away from ones homeland because of war/starvation/plague/invasion/being taken captive etc.. are all possible scenarios that leave the lasting imprint that moving away from home (9th/3rd as well as 10/4th house axis) is a life and death ( Scorpio issue) as well as the feeling of huge loss (Scorpio) and issues around survival (Taurus). So of course moving in this life is going to trigger all those old stories and the deeper affect that lingers in your subconscious memory. While it might help you to know in your conscious mind, that it is NOT happening NOW"¦ (which you can reaffirm for yourself) to the subconscious mind there is no past/present/future..it is all happening now.  Which is why you feel the traumatic affect.

There are also several possible past life events that lead to the sleep paralysis"¦ being blown up on the battle field"¦ and that past life self, not even being aware that it is dead, and still stuck there fragmented is one such scenario. Another is being broken during torture or interrogation( In your current life being beaten as a child (nodal axis cusp 4th/10th) and then forced to "˜confess' or say things that were not true to you (3rd/9th) can be  a replay of similar past life scenarios. This current life experience is a re-imprinting of past life traumas that "˜pushes the issue' of the evolutionary intention in this lifetime, which in relation to healing that trauma, is to regain your authentic self (Jupiter in the first - identity) in relation to 9th house Pluto and S node, through not only de-conditioning (cusp 10th) from lies about yourself  (3rd/9thaxis) you have internalized, but by deep penetration (scorpio into your souls core).  Another such past life scenario as I mentioned is being broken under torture and internalizing the beliefs of the torturers"¦ such as them telling you"¦ you are evil, bad etc"¦

The difficulty with such soul fragments is that you cannot cognate them back into integration in the psyche. You need to "˜retrieve' them in their original state"¦ (ie..instead of expecting them to be able to come to you in your present state"¦ (which is what most cognitive approaches try to do ) you need to go to THEM in their original state which means therapeutically re-experiencing them , bringing the impulses they hold to completion, which dissolves the defenses around them (which keep them un-integrated and dissociated from the total psyche)  and then bring them back into the psyche.  As Gonzalo mentioned "¦.regression or any other similar experiential process which aims to do actual soul retrieval.  But make sure whomever you work with really understands the dynamics of trauma and it's effect on the psyche.
Ultimately moving towards the NN with moon there in Taurus 3rd/4th house cusp"¦. As well as Pluto Polarity point, is to reengage the emotional body and regain the sense of safety in your physical body. Bottom line keywords for your healing "¦trust, safety, authenticity, integration and a gentle felt-sense of self.  There is a need in this life to "˜turn down the intensity', and allow yourself to reintegrate in gentle ways. Body work and also Somatic Experiencing could also be helpful. You are already seeking deeper and expansive answers, which is why your finding EA in relation to an empowered sense of your 9th house was probably very healing 