Mother/daughter karmic ties

[Helena]

Hi Rad,

Yesterday a friend asked me a question that i don't quite know how to answer, i thought maybe you could help.
The question is about how her, as a mother deals with both the feeling of wanting to help and guide her daughter in this life, her responsibility how she puts it, and to feel overwhelmed by her daughter's energy to the point she can't physically stand very near her at times, parts of the body more close the daughter actually become numb, feeling like the daughter simply uses her to unload all the junk she does not want to deal with and then leaves.
She knows they have a past where the daughter was an abusive father of her in a previous life, and even before knowing it, just her eyes looking at her when she was born, she felt immeadiately a strong karmic tie but her desire is to do the right thing, although feeling confused on what it is the right thing to do and the feelings she is experiencing.

If it is ok, i have permission from the mother to post charts, but in short, mother has SN Cancer/NN Cap at 23 degrees (now being transited) daughter has SN Cap/ NN Cancer at 25 degrees, so nodes reversed. Mother Pluto libra, daughter Pluto Sag.
The daughter is also right now starting a process of changing gender to male, the mother has always been the only family member completely supportive of her in this process and with her in it, although inwardly feeling this sudden change does not completely translate into the daughter's inner true nature but respecting daughter's will. Daughter has sun, moon, venus and mars in gemini opposing pluto.
My friend, the mother, has just overcome bravely a long period of deep, deep, depression and starting to experiencing a new life. This has coincided with her finally breaking free from a relationship with her own abusive mother, cutting ties with her, and the desire also of making it different with her daughter and their relationship.

Thank you in advance,
Helena

[Rad]

Hi Helena,

You can post the charts if you wish but I don't want to get into an analysis or give advise to the mother about her daughter. If others want to want to do so that is fine with me.

God Bless, Rad

[Helena]

Hi Rad,

I understand, thank you for replying back and my apologies for asking the question in this way.
I will post just mother's chart as it is her question, maybe is more correct to the situation, in case someone wants to comment.
In a broader sense the question is related to how to, evolutionary speaking, deal/move forward/do the right thing relative to relationships that at the same time give the soul the desire to develop some boundaries and limitations, given the unconscious trauma as in this case, extremely difficult to do as in the case of mother-daughter bond and here pointing to gender roles.
In my case, given that i am too familiar with the situation being close to everything i tend to be rather clueless on how to give any advice.

Thank you for allowing it,
Helena

[Kristin]

Hi Helena,

The actual origin of the dynamics between the Mother and the daughter was a life in which they were fraternal twins. The mother then a boy and the daughter the girl. Various dynamics/ circumstances occurred in which the father in that life found out certain things that made him go crazy and beyond judgemental and because of this they both started blaming each other to him, projecting all kinds of stuff upon each other. Trauma was the result, and that original trauma remained unresolved which is why they are both born with PTSD coming into this life. The solution for the mother is to remain as detached as possible while seeming at the same time involved. It is similar to going to a movie where she is observing/ detached, yet involved. This way allows for objectification of one another and also allows some distance, so to respond to one another in this way.

You can see the history of their connection through these symbols: Saturn in Gemini in the 10th,  fraternal twins,  ruled by Mercury in Libra in the 1st opposed CHIRON IN ARIES IN THE 7TH, and these are squaring the South Node / Moon in Cancer in the 11th, PTSD due to trauma, which explains those areas of her body getting numb whenever she got close to her daughter. In that life her daughter was angry and jealous of her, the mom being a boy, due to all the double standards of the patriarchy embraced by the father then and anger because of it. This is part of the inner cause of the sex change that her daughter is going through now.

Clearly, the past is coming back with transiting South Node, Pluto and Saturn conjunct her North Node in Capricorn and oppose her Moon in Cancer, evolution is inevitable.

This is also an IDEAL time objectify her role with the help of Uranus in Taurus trine her 4th house Jupiter in Capricorn, so this can finally heal. Remembering too that this Jupiter rules her Neptune in Sagittarius in the 3rd house ~ twins, healing the life as twins.

If you span back and observe the bigger picture of this chart, of course you can see the intention for healing for she has Pluto/Mars in Libra, balsalmic in the 1st house and they are sextile Neptune in the 3rd in Sagittarius, the house of twins. The intention is also to end the history of attachment/codependency by doing what she can to help her daughter by knowing when to give and when not to give. Venus, the ruler for that Pluto/Mars, is in Leo in the 12th house, healing, and is sextile that 10th house Saturn, the ruler of her North Node in Capricorn. The best way to know how to do this objectively is to remind her about the movie theater example, if she were the director of this film, how would she write the next scene for this duo, given what she knows now, so their Soul story could evolve.

For some additional EA, you can also see the gender switch of her daughter who used to be her twin sister but now wants to be a boy here: North Node in Capricorn in the 5th, ruler Saturn in Gemini in the 10th, trine the ruler Mercury in Libra in the 1st. Mercury is also squaring her South Node in Cancer and North Node in Cap, gender switch to a boy. So of course her Mom wants to support this transition so her daughter/twin sister, can experience what it really feels like to be boy in a patriarchal world (among other reasons), while her mother is female. It's only fair ~ Libra. The history of the dynamics linked with their connection are coming full circle in this life, which is why it has been so intense and why things are peaking now with Pluto, Saturn and South Node transit to her North Node in Capricorn while opposing her Moon in Cancer.

Peace,
Kristin

[Helena]

Hi Kristin,

My deep appreciation for the time you have taken to answer, It all makes sense. I am certain my friend will be forever grateful to you and Rad for making it possible, and for the information and advice you offer. I just hope some day i can give back as much as we've been given by this community  :-)
Just do add to the information you share and EA correlation, composite Pluto between both souls is in scorpio 1st house, NN is libra 1st house, NN ruler venus in cancer in the 10th, moon in cancer 9th, gemini rules 9th house. SN ruler is mars leo exact new conjunction to sun and last quarter square to pluto. Everything coming full circle indeed, hopefully a new phase coming soon.

As we say in portuguese, my mother language,

Um Abraço,
Helena